Thursday, October 4, 2012

How to keep your relationship alive

So I heard that after the 2nd year milestone in a relationship, things will go sour. One might even have their feelings faded. I am in no position to really say much about this topic 'cause other than Koh, my longest relationship last about less than 6 months.

Usually, I blame it on my star sign. I am a Gemini, you see. Then, I blamed it on my birth timing and my star sign.

"Marriage is not for her and, if she does throw herself into this adventure, it will end in divorce, written off as a youthful mistake. " - Cafe Astrology 

See, not I ownself think very highly of myself but to be in a 3 year relationship with Koh, I think Koh must have done something wrong in his previous life and in this life, he has to pay me back. I can't find any other reason why a Virgo and a Gemini can sustain a very spicy, fun and healthy relationship.

most recent photo of us on his 23rd

I am here, however, to offer my tips. How to sustain a relationship despite having the universe against you. Told you I've a thing for going against the universe. Its like the oxygen that keeps my body from functioning; part of my respiratory system.

This is my - how to make your relationship last :

1) Absence dont make the heart grow fonder.

Dont listen to bullshit like that. Koh and I see each other on a daily basis ever since we had our first date. We learn more about each other every day even till today! I will never grow old of having him make me breakfast, kiss me goodnight and say I love you to me every morning.

2) Let the tiger in you out.

There is nothing you cannot share with him. Unleash your everything. You not happy? Just say. Feel like doing the duty? Just do. Don't be afraid that you will end up in a fight. In a grand scheme of things, all these things will prolly be really small issues. The big issue is what to name your daughter/son.

3) Be involved.

Its been 2 years about time this happen if it has not. He has to be involved in yours and you have to be involved in his. There is no such thing as "your friend" "my friend" "your money" "his money" after 2 years. Its "our friend" and "our money". Unless you secretly have a friend that is originally his who you dislike than thats not your friend. Dont force yourself to like something/someone you dont like. Although it is his friend but see number 2, you have to let it known to him and why.

3) This is not the game of thrones

Sometimes he wins in a fight. Sometimes you win. Always remember to apologise.

4) It is also not a guessing game.

Obviously a huge amount of talking is involved in a relationship as both of you are not mind readers. My tips are somehow revolving that. Perhaps because I am a Gemini and we talk more than its humanly possible. Communication is really the key to keep any form of relationship alive. 

5) Dont change the way you are.

No matter how many complains you receive from your partner. If not, next time you will be hearing alot of "last time you do this one. now you dont ever" even if you do however not as often.

6) Always say your "please" and "thank you".

It makes your partner feels that you appreciate their effort and not take it for granted.

7) Honesty

Even if you are an asshole and cheat. Better to let it out than to let your partner find out. If he/she finds out, there is no turning back. If you tell the truth and he/she still leaves you, you know he/she is not a keeper and hey, you deserve a second chance because you feel remorseful therefore told the truth. Nothing wrong with that action. Forgive and forget else you cannot move on to the next chapter of the relationship; marriage.

8) Dont forget to maintain intimacy and closeness.

A good relationship is a life-long process that needs continuous work and attention. Say "I love you" and mean it as often as you can.

9) Surprises!

Often it sparks the relationship. It tells each other that "hey, you didnt forget that I like sunflowers" or "You noticed that I need a new wallet!" These little elements might not mean anything to you but it definitely mean something to your partner. It will put a smile on their faces.

10) Those were the days.

When you think your relationship is dying, take a walk down memory lane. It will remind you and your partner why both of you started in the first place. Y'all didnt start something to end it off this way. Go on a date or retrace your first date! For me, I constantly ask Koh if he remembers our first date and how he felt at that point. The answer is always the same!

random insert of us

Again, perhaps these only work in this relationship. A wise man once told me that relationships are like boats. They need to be tested in open waters and rough seas, not in the confines of a harbour. Let things flow and pray that it will go your way. Not everyone is lucky strike toto at first buy of 4D. So good luck to your relationship!

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