Sunday, April 14, 2013

Write my life

Recently I came to a conclusion that I have selective memory. I mainly remember the good that had happened and how upset I was at people. Ask me about my childhood, I surely can tell you the funny. Once, when I was barely 3, I was on a carousel with my mother, I hit a boy on his hand because he was trying to steer the wheel. It was a teenage boy. I even gave him a death stare.

I've never been hit by a child/kid while on a ride before. Not even sure why I did that. I was just selfish. I wanted the wheel all to myself. I am not sure if he was on a date with a girl then but if he was, my bad.

That aside, that will be the only story I can remember about my childhood. I have photos of me dressing my 2 year old brother in a skirt but I never remember how or why it happen. Its not like I didnt know he wasnt a girl... or because he prefers playing my barbie dolls.

Moving along, I went to a childcare.Only memory I have is my teacher waking me up from a wonderful nap because my parents are here... not to pick me up but to celebrate my birthday. Thank you, parents for making me serve my friends on my birthday. That explains why the photos turn out bad and ugly. I had such a sour face on.

And oh, also my teacher brought me out to buy bao one day because I couldnt get to sleep.

As years pass, I've no memory of anything else, I shifted from Serangoon to Jurong. My downstairs neighbour was my best friend and before I left, I told her that we will be best friends forever. Her mum was all like but you are moving.. and yes, her mum was right. For the life of me, I cant remember her face.. or her name. I moved in June.. I didnt have a class photo for graduating Kindergarten. I remember being sad about it. Which is also why I didnt smile when taking my solo graduation photo. Even my power ranger watch was broken. Wait, maybe it was because all the other kids had their photo taken already and were off at the playground playing while I was stuck in a oversize grown. FUCK.

Jurong.... first memory? Being lost. I couldnt find my way around. I couldnt find my helper who was supposed to pick me up at the usual spot but my grandmother came instead and she reprimanded me for not waiting outside the classroom and she had to find me. I even hated the playground.

I didnt make any genuine friends till about primary school. I finally had friends living in the same block. I even told a guy I want to have big breast when I grow up. HAHAHAHAHAHA! It was short lived as we move on to secondary school. Everyone went to a better school. I didnt have an expectation of myself. My parents didnt have any expectations other than "do your best". We are not as Asian as we like to think we are.

My primary school friends always remind me of who bullied me in school and what ive done to revenge or how ive cried. But, I have no recollection of it. They tell me what I said to caused the reaction of others but still, no memory of it. I only remember how everyone laughed at an essay Doug did and I didnt know whats so funny till the teacher explained the joke.

I was such a loser.

Secondary school came and gone. I still got bullied but I forgot how and why. I remember meeting my best friend on a bus when I was 14. I remember meeting Koh when I was 20. And in future, I hope I remember how I got hitched, pregnant and remember my children for the rest of my life. Life hasnt straighten out for me. But, I know I will get there.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

What rubbish are you talking about?

I came across this article, floating around on Facebook and find it really ridiculous that it was reposted by 'The Real Singapore' and some of my Facebook friends were like "food for thought"/"so true". ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Just because they can achieve it doesnt mean we also can. There are different demographics!!! How is it possible for it to be something for us to look up to?

This article is not even written by a Singaporean who got married young and relating the struggles behind it. It does not fucking hell relate to us, Singaporeans nor explain why we shouldn't till we are (financially) ready to get married.

"even replace the car when it died a few months into our marriage"

Wait a minute. Car? KNN, I can't even afford the car plate here in Singapore. Even the bus and MRT fare is increasing every year. I think thats why World of Sports is having sale.. for us to buy a good pair of Reeboks and walk every fucking where.

Available in Giant, Toys R Us and Fairprice.

"We lived in a small basement apartment, furnished with secondhand Ikea."

I do not know of any basement I can live in till I have the dough to buy a BTO/DBSS/HDB resale let alone a "small basement apartment". The only basement I fucking know is the carpark at any shopping malls in Singapore and fuck no, I am not going to find a cosy corner, place some Ikea furniture and call it my home. Do you know that the doors to the malls are closed at a certain timing? Where do I fucking pee and poo thou should the time for it comes knocking?

Look, ma. My very own swimming pool.

"We inventoried the family budget: no more fancy coffee, dining out, Zipcars, or shopping—just student loans, rent, and food."

Even if I were to rent a decent room, it will cost me SG$500 ish without PUB - no aircon, no TV, no Internet, no cooking-. A small non furnished apartment is about SG$2,700. Check PropertyGuru if you dont believe me.

Let's see. A normal office job will prolly bring home about SG$1,500 with a decent qualification. Two of you makes it SG$3,000. May I know if I am supposed to fucking eat the grass outside my apartment for the rest of the month just because I need to pay for your rent, bills, transport, etc? If I rent a room, think of all the privacy I am going to lose because of the presence of my landlord. Is it worth all the trouble just because I want to get married and grow old fast?

On the other hand, you still can pay for loans, rent and food despite the fact that your husband lost his job. You are doing not as bad as you think you are.

With SG$300, a bed in a room is all you get.

"We did not have Internet (checking email required a trip to the local coffee shop) or reliable heat."

Thank god, in Singapore, I dont need heat. We can skip that but my local coffee shop dont even provide me with clean chairs therefore Internet is definitely out of the question. I could go to Starbucks but then my coffee will be SG$5.60 instead of just SG$0.60. Dont fucking complain about making a trip to your local coffee shop when you have Internet there and we dont.

No place to even place my laptop.

The only part of the article I agree is:

"Your spouse becomes your soul mate after you've made those vows to each other in front of God and the people who matter to you. You don’t marry someone because he’s your soul mate; he becomes your soul mate because you married him"

The article is not bad to be featured in other countries. Not in Singapore thou because there are different factors stopping us from marrying young. Not because we are career minded. If the government really have a problem with the lack of babies due to marrying late, they would have helped us and make it affordable/attainable.

For example, our houses and cars will be cheaper and not just create some measures to stop the rich from buying. Their measures should help the poor and the middle class to purchase such goods AND stop the rich from buying, making the demand more, supply less therefore more expensive.

Its one in the morning now, I cant possibly name all. But you get my 411.