Saturday, March 29, 2014

Believe VS Knowledge

People close to me would have realised the change in me. As I grew older, perhaps its the motherly instincts kicking in, I started to lose myself and became the overthinker I am today. My homies questioned me, asking where is the Celine they used to know. That strong carefree woman they knew since 17 and a half. As I search deep within myself, not only I couldnt find the answer, I start to over worry.

Today, I had the honour to sit and listen to the stud muffin who finally gave me constructive comments, telling me about Hope and Expectations.

It really does not take too long to understand how I work; what you see is what you get. I never hide who I truly am. But, to be able to understand me in such short period of time, I take my hat off Oldman. Old and wise, doesnt even fully describe him. I am thankful for his presence in my life.

As negative as I may be now, he pulls me back on the right track. I cant turn to my positive self overnight, however I am trying. I am sharing this because I am going through a difficult time, finding myself and understanding myself all over again. I mean, at 24 and a half, I finally am starting to develop armpit hairs and pimples! Wadddup, Puberty.

I've stopped writing, I know. Then, I lost myself.

Perhaps expressing myself in words is the best way to wake myself up. I got to get up, prove a point, prove people wrong, and prove myself that I am not who I am now. I am better than that. Now that I am almost done with my wake up call to myself, its time to hit the sack and await the wake up call from Oldman because I got work at 9am. I hate working in the mornings...

Friday, March 7, 2014

Agnes B - cause I can ||


Exactly a year ago, I was sourcing for a new wallet and decided on an Agnes B royal purple with gold prints wallet . The sales person told me that the gold is not imprinted, but embroidered in, therefore the gold will never fade away. A good buy, I thought to myself . Worth the money, I further encouraged myself .

Of course nothing last forever . It's not like I mistaken my wallet as a football and trashed it around, however nothing gold can stay. 

Little did I know, exactly a year later, I found myself buying yet another wallet . I happened to be at IMM and happened to walk into an Agnes B outlet store and guess what. My eyes happened to notice something red, classic and beautiful. This time, I made my own mind up. No more sales person talks on the product.


what's in the bag ?


 ahhhh ! 


is this a joke ?! 


!!!! 


what a beauty ! 








And I got it at such a steal, compared to the previous one. Although I'd like to have a compartment where I can put a photo, I didn't want to have to compromise with the number of card slots. A girl got to have tons of discount cards in her wallet at all times - you will never know when you need it . 


Goodbye old Agnes B. Hello new Agnes B. I don't even know who Agnes B is but Agnes B cause I can .

Friday, February 7, 2014

Things that I will never tell you

I am totally the man in this picture while Koh's the woman.

Coming into the 6th month of my breakup with Koh, I am reaching the stage of resentment at myself and feeling really sorry for myself. Last two nights was full of "what has become of me". At first, i get sympathy from my friends then it was pity and now, I guess I am just annoying the fuck out of them. When asked what should I do if one day I were to stop teaching, Oldman said, "Write". I pondered on it for abit and then agreed. I may not a writer to begin with, however he reminded me of how useful this tool is.

It was a tool I used to get it out of my system.

A relationship is like cooking soup; too many cooks spoil it, but when and if given too little attention, water gets evaporated into nothing. What happened between the both of us was abit of everything. There was a time where I cheated, then we both cared too much, then he cheated, then I decided to take steps back while he threw his attention at me, then there is where we are right now. Guess we just grew old too fast and instead of going out doing things people our age do, we stayed in, cuddled, and that was it. We led such a "marriage" lifestyle, I almost didn't blame him for cheating on me - I still don't.

Whereas for the longest time, I blamed it on myself. I said, to myself, that I wasn't good enough, I was just terrible, I didn't listen, I couldn't get to him 'cause I didn't try hard enough, 'cause I was lazy, 'cause I this I that.Every.Single.Day.

Given everything that happened during the years we had been together, and if we kept tabs, I am Jesus of all Girlfriends, I daresay.

Given everything that happened during the years we had been together, we both know its unhealthy if we kept on going.

Given everything that happened during the years we had been together, and I still will go back to him in a heartbeat -without any romantic gestures-, I think I am a failure, which, sad to say, I am.

Maybe, I shouldn't be reminiscing at all. Perhaps, its the period that's talking right now. Otherwise, I'd like to start on my list of Things I Will Never Tell You. After months of avoiding and hiding my feelings under my bed, this is going to be my first step of handling my breakup with Koh. Although, I never expect a day where he will stop loving me and stop being my The One, I wish him the best with the other 937873987 girls he's chasing right now.

I will never tell you how comfortable you make me feel under my skin for the first few years of our relationship. Maybe your dick just needed some actions and I was there therefore in order to get some, your natural instinct was to praise me.

I will never tell you how how much I needed you and our relationship. How our hands fit nicely into each other's and how nice it is to be with someone who never belittles me.

I will never tell you how I sometimes wonder why me. Why of all the girls in the world, you picked me.

I will never tell you that it hurts now that it is game over for the both of us. I miss my best friend everyday.

I will never tell you that I thought we were forever. Despite all the shortcomings, you are the one I love.

I will never tell you that its your face I want to wake up to every damn morning and the face I want to see before I fall asleep. Its not very handsome nor pleasant yet its the only thing I look forward to.

I will never tell you how much of a liar you are. You said I could tell you everything and anything but then, we hardly speak anymore. It's getting crazy and unbecoming of me to block you from my social media platforms just so that you would miss me too.

I will never tell you that I hate myself for caring, wallowing in self pity and not getting you out of my head. Why wasnt I enough and am I really not enough.

I will never tell you that.

I will never.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

In another Teacher's hindsight

As a teacher, i feel sympathetic towards classroom teachers.



He (the teacher) forwent his pride and dignity to calm the tits (no pun intended) of his student who I reckon has family issues.

However, I wouldnt have apologised to the student for "shouting" at him. He is not deaf but obviously could have some kind of hearing problem. Either he couldnt hear the previous instruction given to him or he refuse to listen to that said instruction.. See, hearing loss maybe.

"Someone who has hearing loss might be able to hear some sounds or nothing at all."
-http://kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/sight/hearing_impairment.html

I guess the teacher was taken aback by the sudden outburst of the student. His voice was shaking as thou processing and finding the right words to say to the student at the same time.

As much as I hate to say this, but its because of one or two f these rotten apples in a basket that makes Normal Technical stream seem..terrible. I mean you already in that stream where people, for lack of better word, look down on you then why don't you feel the need to like prove them wrong?

With viral videos like this, even if the student had received public caning and had apologised to the teacher, it doesn't bring back that said teacher's dignity and pride nor the school's reputation. Kids, the term shouldn't be the reason for their behaviour.

We cannot condone their actions based on "iya, they are still young". If so, when does that 'young' dateline end?

Sunday, January 19, 2014

2013 in a nutshell


Looking back into 2013, I saw myself in different cities, in different sizes and as a whole. I fell, picked myself up, and found myself again. It was a year of growing up, not growing old. Then, I became this overthinker I never thought I'd be. Now, I am calming my tits down every other day with the help of xt9a.



Friends -
Wished I made more time for friends in person. I used to be able to make time so easily to hang and just have dinner with friends. Now, all I do is "eh lets meet up" but left it at that. I am ashamed to be one of those people. My friends got married and had kids yet I think I the only one who havent held any babies in 2013.

On the other hand, I watched my two favourite Kakaks walk down the aisle... and thats because I made time for it therefore, in 2014, I HAVE to make time. Period.

Melbourne

Beijing

 Tioman


 Bangkok

Hongkong

Travels -
I did more travelling than usual years - Melbourne, KL, Genting, Beijing, Tioman, Bangkok, Hongkong -. Surprised that I went to Bangkok only once but still, brought a whole lot of shopping back. Finally visited a non asian country and got myself a diving license. I am, forever, gonna be looking forward to exploring new places.



Relationships -
Koh and I remained as friends and I am very happy about it. It feels and seems like we have unfinished business but that is for Future Celine to care about. Oldman and I are.. the same - status unknown however I am still enjoying our sundates.

Jack and Lachie

Career -
Gave up my local students and welcomed plenty more International students. While a couple of my International students had to give me up, I got more assignments. I teared as Jackson and Lachlan were approaching the end of their academic year. So proud of the two brothers whom I taught since Lachie was in Grade 3 (He's a 5th Grader this year!) and even more touched at the amount of love they and their whole family give me. Reminded me of why I do this, how I got into doing this and who I am doing this for.




Myself -
Took up a new language - did a pretty good job, contemplating if I should do Advance in 2014. Tried to shed some pounds but gained it all back by the end of the year. I took up dodgeball again and is heavily involved in the YEC -almost like a new Celine was born after the whole fiasco with Koh. I learned new stuff, I found my mojo for old stuff and even put my foot forward in aiding the community.

2013 was fun but I wont want to go through it again. Instead of doing up a resolution and end up being sad at being unable to complete them within 365 days, I decided to do away with it this year and embrace quarter life crisis. Okay, I will add one - save - oh wait and another one - travel. I think its gonna be a challenge. Well, I am turning 25 in 5 months sooo... challenge accepted !

19 days into a brand new year, its never too late -



Tuesday, December 3, 2013

FIT Start programme @ California Fitness




Gym... the place I always want to be. I used to work in California Fitness for close to 2 years but that was at least 4 years ago. I felt so nostalgic upon stepping foot into California Fitness Takashimaya. Although I was from Raffles but the smell and the system remains the same!



Arranged to go with these two women so I wont be lonely. I ended class late and they waited for me. I am not sure how or where I managed to find friends like this but I am blessed to have them in my life. This Valentine forever cracking me up.



You see. We go California Fitness but she wear True Fitness top. Shocked Chung and I then I just burst out laughing and I couldnt stop for a while. We got changed and was directed to a fitness trainer.


Meet our trainer.

We were told to measure our body fats and muscles content via this machine Inbody 230 which is a body composition analyser. It is 98% accurate and I was shocked that my left hand is stronger than my right. Perhaps its time to train my left hand in dodgeball...



I just had to stand there and let the machine do its job. When its done, it will send the data to the printer and the trainer will assist you in explaining. We then got spilt up from Chung..She has back problems. The trainers are so professional that they will customise the workout for you.



Here is Val and I carefully listening to where our fats lies. I am surprised that I am not obese.


 We got to try the TRX -

TRX
Using heavy-duty nylon webbings attached to wall brackets, TRX utilizes your own body weight to build strength, balance, flexibility and core stability. If you are interested in this highly effective, intensive training program, look no further than our team of TRX-certified personal trainers to help you get started.







  
My bun very nice.






By using our body weight, we got to balance and push ourselves to a higher level of exercise, in my honest opinion. Some of it was easy - cause the trainer demo first then guide you to the right position and off you go. It was tough. I wouldnt feel my arms after but the feeling was awesome.

At California Fitness, they have other programmes too -


FIT Start
Your FIT Start training session, with one of our fitness professionals, is one of the most effective ways of getting started on the right track towards achieving your fitness goals. The FIT Start program includes introduction to the Xpress Zone circuit of resistance training equipment, providing a basis upon which to build a personalized fitness program.

A high-intensity full-body workout that combines traditional boxing with Muay Thai.  It can burn up to 800 calories per hour!

Best of all, you get your own training space.

Private Personal Training Area
Get your individual workout with our professional trainers to enhance your workout routine at our dedicated Private Personal Training Area. Your one-on-one Personal Trainer will help you achieve your ultimate level of conditioning quickly, safely, and effectively.

So..

Let's get personal!
Our personal training is just that - personal. When you work with a California Fitness personal trainer in Singapore, you’ll benefit from a personal fitness training program that’s custom-built with your goals in mind. Our trainers know exactly what it takes to achieve your individual goals in the fastest, safest way possible, from devising a balanced nutritional regimen up to a customized fitness training program to get you the results you want, whether it is to slim down, bulk up, de-stress or improve fitness levels.

Head down to any California Fitness today and sign up for a week trial. If you like it, you put a membership on it! Here's to a better lifestyle. I have dodgeball twice a week, I think thats what I can handle for now. But, I really enjoyed TRX and when I am ready to push myself further and be the prettiest, most well toned bride ever, I will definitely sign up then. And no, I am not getting married.

More information - California Fitness Website

Monday, December 2, 2013

Six buds none the weiser


On saturday, I saw myself heading to the community club for a 4 hours long voluntary work and then, a 2 hour math lesson with my two girls and finally letting my hair down at Budweiser event that Issac Ritz so generously invited me with plus three. (Okay, Lim was supposed to come with her plus one but she bailed at the eleventh hour so I took it as I can plus three.)

I decided that I got enough footage for #sgYouthsCare (@tjyouths) to last like a decade, I decided to leave the community club 2 hours earlier to nap. When I woke up, it was pouring and I was slightly behind time. Knowing that Oldman will be home, I decided to ring him up and ask for a ride to work while crossing my fingers that he's not napping. I could have just brave the rain and flag for a cab but because there were thunder, I wanted him by my side.

Went home, got into the showers and then arrange to meet Oldman and his brother at 7.30pm for..


Yeah... Budweiser Made for Music 2013 Singing Competition. Due to work, I missed out on alot of singing but beer is always better. Budweiser is so smooth that its almost like I was drinking water. You know that bitter taste nearing the finishing of a bottle? I hate that. I hate it when I get that last bit. However, with Budweiser, I didnt even want to waste any drop. I want my Budweiser now.


Before I start hallucinating having a beer in hand, I was excited to meet Val and PapaLow at the event. Then, because Mint was the host, I got even more excited that I am to meet my favourite homepal Ang! I havent seen her for nearly half a year? We always got so much to talk about, its like I need her with me all the time.

Sorry, PapaLow. I didnt mean to be late and make you wait!


 Valentine Low, daughter of PapaLow!


Mint on stage with the Budweisers.


Beer was free flow and we were told to "grab some Buds" at the bar. I hope no one got their butts grabbed though. Hur hur, unfunny. I remembered at one point I left the boys to chat with Ang and when I got back, the boys were carrying like at least 7 bottles of beer to the table. Note to self; only bring these few men to event with free flow beer . They cannot help you with the ad but they can entertain you.



Emman, Alex and Oldman - 3 real men because real men drink beer.



Left them for a while, see whats on the table?


Alex, Oldman's brother, was wearing shorts at first. I made him go back and change.


I dont know what happened but it just did.

So as I was saying I left the boys for a while and met Silver. I only knew her since Genting last year, but it felt as though I knew her for ages. So friendly, so pretty and I got a tummy full of love for this woman.




With Muttons



Must throw in more of her face else idk when will be the next time I see her.


Went to find Mint as well. I remember knowing Mint through her blog and she is the nicest ! Where got people send the item you win from her blog to your doorstep one? MINT. I didnt like see her for a few years - thought she forget me already- and at the Domino's event this year, she recognised me first and said Hi. Humble star, this woman. Love her to bits too!






"LIKE" Budweiser Singapore on Facebook 


老的, thank you for being my hero of the night - free ride, free entertainment and also for walking me back all the way to my doorstep! I dont remember if I embarrassed myself but if I did, you will live with it. I secretly think its damn awesome to be in my life because of the benefits one can get. Y'all come have free beer yet I am the one who was "working". Okay, after looking at the above picture again, I think I look very overly attached.


Except that it wasnt a guys night out.

****

Okay, to not end this entry abruptly. I shall tell you a story. So the men -all into sports- spotted someone huge in Singapore sports scene. They took a terrible photo with him when I wasnt around. By terrible I meant the photo didnt turn out good. Oldman came to me and asked if I could help them take a photo with him and I said sure. Why would I turn Oldman down anyway right...


Fanboy moment


I dont know/dont remember what they were doing but they take damn long lah to like get into position to take a photo with him. So I was like "Girls will be girls. Come, let us take a photo while waiting for them to get ready." And I did.



 Didnt turn out great because I didnt want the men to spot me stealing a shoot. 




Still not ready yet.


Finally ready but not satisfied.


till they do their "thing".

That pretty much summed up my entire weekend. Remember to -



"LIKE" Budweiser Singapore on 
Facebook 

Special thanks to : Issac Ritz for the invite. Valentine for waiting for me and being such a doll to my friends. Ang and Mint for being such darlings to me. The men for endless entertainment and being such a sport. Oldman for being him.