Friday, May 22, 2015

A Letter

Dear Friend,

I am not your friend on FaceBook but you are a dear friend of mine in real life. Your departure is sudden but I guess when Allah needs you, He calls you back in His arms. I don't know how to deal with death but I will take it like a man. There are things about you that I've never told you however I reckon in time, I will tell them all to you.

I will never forget the encouragements and advices you gave me when we are in court, either playing side by side or on the opposite sides. I will never forget our banters. I will never forget the silly jokes. I will never forget laughing beside you. I will never forget the gracefulness of your throws. I will never forget you.

Don't you worry about all of us. We will keep playing the game of Life on your behalf. We will stand by your family and see that they are fine. I know you are too, just not longer physical. I believe you are meant for bigger things..perhaps in other lifetime. I am truly blessed to have known you.

Things will definitely not be the same during Dodgeball but your presence will forever be felt. I am sure we will continue the silly banters and the harmless flirtatious exchanges. We will feel your laughter and imagine you smirking when you are not in the serious mood. Its our loss that you won't be playing along side with us.

I won't be seeing you for a while and I will be alright. Don't miss us but we will miss you. Till we meet again.

#22

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

A Dummies' Guide to Rainbow nails !


Let's move on from the Gushcloud exposè part 2 and try something fun and fulfilling at home ! Yah, I don't think gathering "evidence" while you have a baby to take care of is neither fun nor fulfilling. 

Not that I want to stir but her blogging bff having baby and only got 3 sponsors ..maybe it's to direct traffic to her via her. If you get what I mean. I go back to stirrin my milo .

Colours that you need - oh I like..
Red, it's the colour of an apple
Orange, it's the colour of an orange 
Yellow, it's the lemon and our beautiful sun sun sun
Green, it's the colour of trees and lots of things that grow 
And then there's blue for the sky,
And purple, that's a colour that is fun fun fun !

- The Rainbow song by Barney the dinosaur !




Of course, remember your base and top coat ! 

For this fun happy splash of colours, you will need -


A sponge . The portion I needed in comparsion to the photo I've google. I've done this before but it wasn't as opaque as the one on screen  'cause I didn't wanted it. Although it's said that the colours will pop out more if you first paint your nails with a white base. I personally don't like white - they look like liquid paper on my nails :/

Credits : @katesthenamee
White base first.

This time, I put more paint on the sponge to make it more non transparent. You just need to wipe your nail brush once across the sponge . It's okay to overlap. It's supposed to be messy anyway. Then once you are done with the 6 colours, just stamp on your nails ! 




Your nail bed will def get ruined if you are like me. Lazy. Lazy to coat the nail bed with lotion or use tape. 


Just use some q-tips and your favourite nail polish remover ! It comes off really easily. (Disclaimer : not my favourite remover. My mother used the last bit of my old one and she was afraid that I will flip so she faster go anyhow replace one.)


End product ! However my red and orange got overlapped too much till they look almost the same ! But I love how messy it is and how it looks like it faded into each other ..like when you blend ten eye shadow colours onto your Asian eyelids.

I used 6 colours instead of 7 because my nails too short and the two purples are its gonna blend so well together you can tell that you really have two different shades of purple ! 

Have fun trying this at home ! 

Friday, March 6, 2015

I'm getting better, doing better, living better


Every now and then we definitely think of an ex . Think of all the what ifs and if he's thinking of you too . Truth is, things happened for a reason. Daddy God has a plan for everyone . He didn't mean for you to go through the x number of heartbreaks, neither did he want of you to go through the said heartbreaks. Sometimes when God speaks in His mysterious ways (be it through people or not), we tend to overlook because love have made us blindsided .



My love life is slowly picking up. I'm not in any hurry but it is nice to know that there is someone out there , lurking in a corner for me. Everyone knows that in my line of work, I don't meet single eligible man... I tried my hands on tinder. Despite some reviews from my friends on the possibility of meeting creeps, I actually met some really nice gentlemen ! Praise the Lord. 


But no one took my breathe the way this one did.  I remember the first time I met him. I wasn't shy but I knew I wanted to know him more . I don't know if I was already head over heels and mesmerized by him but I wanted him to ask me out. I wanted him to tell me about his life. It was the same set of emotions I went through when I first saw Koh.

It has been 4 months since that day I first met him. It was impromptu and after another meet up, I went on my first church date. It felt so good to know we have the same faith and even go to the same church. It felt even better the first time he held my hands. 

But, sometimes all good things must come to an end . 


My lifestyle consist of me staying up too late either editing my students' work or drinking with my friends , waking up only in the afternoon and start work at 4pm while his is of complete opposite. It's nice that he forks out time for me despite his hectic schedule, however that's not enough attention during what's supposed to be courtship. 


I prayed to Abba for a sign , for Him to guide me towards the right 120%. Just as I was being led by my emotions and feeling super frustrated at his actions, pastor preached about letting Him lead and not our emotions. Amen. Praise the Lord for giving me a sign ! 


I have no idea what will happen in future and if we will both work out . For now, I don't think I need to try so hard to make it work cause it should just ..work if he's the right 120%. Anyway, I'm getting better. I'm definitely not thinking about Koh anymore and being very proactive in dating ! 

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Of Habits and Addictions

Us in '13

****
I was with EK for many years and throughout these many years, it had been a bumpy roller coaster ride without any seat belts on. It was scary at times, however thrilling and fun. EK gradually became my comfort zone. When we speak about breakup, we spoke about finding what we had in another person. Conclusion has always been "Unlikely/Not possible".

EK is one who knows love. He is someone I could bare my soul to because he listens and knows what to say. He is someone I could bare my naked body to because he makes me feel beautiful. He is someone I could call whenever because he is there for me. He is a very special someone to me. No one would ever understand the chemistry we shared.

Soon, I got hooked.

Having EK in my life gave me a sense of security in life; when all else fails, EK would still be standing there smiling at me, lifting the world on his shoulders... just for me. He constantly gives in to my whines/rants/needs/wants. To be honest, despite his flaws, he tries his very best to give me the very best. That made me love him, flaws and all.

I always knew EK would eventually get sick of me. The 5 years was full of EK kept giving and I kept receiving. I didn't know how to express my love for EK via actions. I didnt know how to show that I care via actions. Emotionally, I was a broken doll. Our break up was inevitable. I've always saw it coming, but I thought if I held on longer, EK will get over the phase and we will still be happy together.

EK was someone who puts in a lot of effort. He cooked, he cleaned, he made sure to plant surprise snacks in my bag when I go off to work. He took care of me when I am sick, regardless how serious the illness was. He made sure I receive my favourite flowers every V'day. He gave in to my every wimp. He planted kisses on me every morning if I am still in bed. He wrote notes and placed them in my wallet (some of them are still in my wallet) randomly. He was overall sweet and I was demanding.

Our last one and a half year together, we tried different ways to get along. I tried to loosen up and allowed EK to fly as far away as he wants to, thinking that he will fly back home because he knows I am waiting for him. EK did flew home, but it wasn't till 6 in the morning. By 3 am, I was already picking a fight with him for him to come home qiuck. I guess, I couldn't do the whole open relationship thing.. 'cause I became needy.

I moved back to my Parental's, with EK's approval. However, once I was settled down/got used to sleeping alone, EK started to call me every night. He would call to ask what time to pick me up to go somewhere then stay over his place or he could just check on me, which I appreciated. Some nights if we hang, I would insist on going back to my parents', some nights I would give in. Soon, we were both very tired, mentally and physically.

One day, he told me he found someone he said he love and who loved him back the way I couldn't whilst on his nights out with his BFF. Meanwhile, I was trying to figure out this someone who I have an unspoken connection with whilst being miserable knowing EK and I were on the rocks. EK and I wouldn't grow old together anymore. We had reached our limits and it was really time to let go.

Letting go was the hardest part. Knowing that he had moved on and brought the girl home the very next day was devastating. I cried every 10 minutes, I wouldn't eat nor get out of bed, I didn't want to work and all I wanted to do was sleep.

I don't know when will the pain end. I've lost a boyfriend, lover, partner, best friend overnight. Its been quite a while now since the day I packed everything and left. Do I regret leaving him? No. I reckon the people you meet at the wrong time, is the wrong person. I will admit I am still in love with the EK I knew in 09, the EK I planned to grow old with, the EK I woke up to everyday. I am still grieving, and I will grieve all I want.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Thug life



Found a huge ass pimple above my lips the night after I published my dummies' guide to skincare routine . Why like that why. 

Monday, January 19, 2015

A Dummies' Guide to Skincare Routine (with photos)

It took me a few years but it's never too late to start on a routine . I never knew what comes first , I can never remember what comes first. Do I cleanse, moisturize then tone or tone first then moisturize? In order to aid me (and my goldfish memory), my friends had to write numbers down on the bottles ...but I can still forget.

It wasn't until the complexion went haywire that I put in effort to remember ! Guess it takes a "crisis" to get me started .

I haven't post something in awhile and I refuse to only post angry stuff this year . I need to be zen and calm my tits down. But I've nothing to blog about . So.... Here's an amateur's guide to a skincare routine: 


Hi, here's me. With makeup at 1 in the morning .


Here's me. Without makeup and after I finished my skincare routine at 1.50am on the same day. Is it me or is the photo not focus =/

I think got no difference because iPhone 5S front camera not as zai as iPhone 6. However I'm sure I look slightly radiant ? Self praise is definitely no praise at all. Ya ya ya, it's my post, not yours . So praise the Lord that my complexion is better than this :


credits here 



So I ran out of my Biore makeup remover wipes. I found this in my drawer, checked and it wasn't expired ! Scored. 


NO MORE THIS ONE SO I ANYHOW USE SOMETHING ELSE .




Its texture is like a piece of wet tissue and it removes my makeup with a very light swipe . Then again, I don't put on getai makeup therefore my argument is invalid.



Makeup removed! Cannot even see the makeup on the wipes . But hello, I'm barefaced on the Internet. Whadduppppp!



Another photo of me without makeup 'cause wo shuang



Side by side compare ; left makeup right no makeup . This is why it's a dummies' guide . I'm such a bad selfie taker *insertsadface



Moving on. I use my mum's facial wash 'cause I'm lazy. Lazy to buy my own. Lazy to try which is better for my skin but ...



It brightens my face ! Every time I step out of the shower I am in awe! I love the rosy cheeks I have on although I'm not sure if it's because of the steam from the hot water .



Okay, so I tone. XT9A intro this to me . I loved the smell so despite the fact I don't see an improvement to my skin, I'm still using it. I mean, I still got more than half a bottle !





Tone tone tone upwards ! I wish I can tone my arms at the same time so it won't be so flabby . 



Kohs mum used this as well and this bottle was given to me by her before the breakup. I love using this ! Makes my face feels so bouncy and white . Maybe because I am Asian... we like being fair skinned.



Put every where ! 


 
Let's moisturize in circular motion ! Let the skin adorb the goodness! 



There you go ! All done. Cleanse. Tone. Moisturize . I am so in love with how I look after I finish doing my skincare routine. More radiant. Fairer. And clean.



Before and after . However I know I should improve on ALOT more. I'm still finding my way and hopefully you would drop a comment / advice or two to help me improve my skin condition ! 



Next up, how I put my daily makeup ! 

P/s : NO EDITS WERE DONE TO ANY OF THE PHOTOS. 

Friday, January 9, 2015

I'm bidding goodbye

Not to this space. But, to the nightlife.






These are some of the best nights ever.. I never wake up regretting the night before. But, its time to grow up and be an adult minus the late nights. 2015, come at me bro.