Saturday, January 28, 2012

Is this goodbye?

There used to be a time where everything was so fun. Everyone was fun. There were always so many gigs every saturday to go to that you crack your brains over time management. Same old places you hang out at. You bound to see everyone and anyone every weekend. You didnt get sick of it. You couldnt get sick of it. It was like a thing.

Now, its a thing of the past. These people whom you hardly talk to anymore. You hardly meet. You hardly have the time for. Instead of gigs, there are guest DJs. There are parties after parties after parties. You still meet people but no longer the same people.

As you grow older with trends, time and of course age, the things you used to enjoy back then faded into the darkness.

Sometimes, once in a while you are reminded of them but there is nothing you can do about it, You, for sure, cant turn back time. Often, some of these people contact you because 1) they are bored 2) they need a favour 3) sadly, they pressed the wrong button.

Once you had reach a certain age, what you basically have are called memories. In time to come, I am sure even memories will be cleared out. Like a Hard Disk. I obviously wish I have more than 24 hours a day.. just to catch up with friends. Catch up with those who have been busy too, those who travel more than I go to the toilet in a day, those who only come on to Mainland on the weekends (aka NSF), those who always say "okay meet up" but in the end, never plan anything.

I have friends whom I adore fondly. I miss them. I hate social media for the fact that I see that they hang out without me because I am no longer in school, I no longer have fun in the day. I havent gotten around to making new friends yet maybe because I am tied down by Koh ( I dont want him to think I cheating on him) or I am just to old for that kinda of shit. Okay, perhaps I had adopted the habit of "sorry, I too cool to say hi to you first" over the years.

In all honesty, I think I am ready to move on with life. Make new friends whom I can wine and dine with. Keep old friends who I can still party with once a month, play bowling, hang out at Jurong Point or just talk cock sing song.

To be able to tango, we need to have partners. So are you on board this ship with me? 'Cause I will be keeping y'all in my pocket if I could.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Blonde Part ||

A blonde walked into a store to buy curtains.

She went up to the salesman and said, "I want those pink curtains to fit my computer screen.

The salesman mentioned, "Computers don't need curtains."

The blonde said, "Hellooo…. I have windows!"

Etta James - Something's gotta hold on me

The voice behind Avicii 's successful chart-topping "Levels" passed away on the 20th January 2011. Just days before that, I was watching American Idols season 11 and that's where I discovered Etta James. Her voice was amazing She was amazing. The music was amazing. I was an immediate fan.

Something's gotta hold on me - Etta James, 1962.

Levels - Avicii, 2011

Etta James albums records soar after her death. 30,000 copies of her albums were sold in the week following her death, compared to just over 6,000 copies the previous week.

Avicii sampled Etta James' "Something gotta hold on me" in 2011 which reached top ten in UK, Austria, Germany.. just to name a few.

I felt terrible to have known such a soulful singer only at her deathbed. Etta James was already battling with sickness since 2008. Sometimes, I wish I was born in an earlier era. Music these days are shit. But Id still like to marry Tim Bergling someday.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Photoshop Fails 107

Here is to (yet) another photoshop fail (version 7)!

Friday, January 20, 2012


A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"

The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"

The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"

Top Google Trends

What people see:

silver ang
2.sea hare
3.scarlet heart
4.bu bu jing xin
6.whatsapp hoax
7.kinfolk 9
8.seoul music awards 2012
9.point of entry
10.bongqiuqiu tong school
12.warrior sports liverpool kit design
15.shawn lee
17.lunar new year 2012
18.michael tolotos
19.a great way to care
20.lion dance

What I see:

1. Sliver Ang

The recent "showdown" of bloggers attacking each other via blog entries. Qiu Qiu (ranked 10th) has blogged a entry to reply back to Sliver's which is already down by the time this entry is up. Idk why but Im taking sides. I dont know them both however, been reading QQ and I feel she is very genuine.. well, except those photoshop pictures. LOL.

2. Whatsapp hoax

Whatsapp confirmed that the messages are a hoax. Like duh! Although sending texts via Whatsapp is free, I didnt bother to forward it. I thought chain messages has long lost its existence in the cyber world now come Whatsapp. Classic.

3. Seoul Music Awards 2012

I like Korean stars but not to the extend of watching a show where I dont understand all of the words.

4. Lunar New Year 2012

Hello! Its this Sunday. How many times you wanna confirm?

5. Lion dance.

I believe you are looking for this.

Ask me anything and this is not a comment box.


Okay, I not gonna be wishy-washy and perhaps sound a tad bit annoying but please.. just pleaseeeeeeeee (dont leave meeeeee *sing to Pink) "Like" my page on facebook!

Dont say I never tell you ah. Got juice come out one if you "Like" it. 'Cause recently, I realise how to check my stats. According to Clarence, SSL is very much a site written by traditional blogger. Blogger who uses minimum photos. To be cool, I think I am just gonna say I am "minimalist". Tee hee hee 'cause technically, other than dissing me (which it wont bother me), there is nothing you can do! NEH NI NEH NI POO POO (okay Koh just farted in his sleep while I type "poo poo").

I never expect myself to have close to 600 readers a day! I always thought I had like 200 a day and I happy that y'all enjoyed "photoshop fails" as its really the most googled and forever linked to this space! So exciting! No one reads this cock and bull so I can laugh all I bloody hell want.


Anyhoooo, I got a get rich quick plan! You wanna know? Okay, I tell you. Before Chinese New Year (CNY), find a Chinese boyfriend/girlfriend.. (preferably an Ah Lian or Ah Beng 'cause this kind usually damn fast can steady one and will bring you back to meet the parents). During CNY, be thick skin and follow to visiting.

TA-DA ! You will suddenly be a few dollars richer! After the 15th day (CNY lasts for tthattt long), break up! Repeat this cycle for every festival. Most bo hua one is Deepavali. Hari Raya got 30 days that one lagi best!

Dont forget, you hear it first from SSL! "Like" my page!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

i said in the year 3000

As jobless as I am, you bet I am bored to my toes. Suddenly, I was wondering what was my first FaceBook profile picture and what was going through my m
ind that made me click "make this profile picture'.

I was in love with this guy whom I reckon has totally no interest in me at all. I tried to gain his attention with this sign (it was a thing then... yes, I sin kid what else?) and I was crazy about his afro.

Yes yes, I should be working not using the webcam meant for members to snap photo of myself being insane.

Then came 0707. My fav bunch of night owls where drama naturally unfolds, misunderstanding/miscommunication being thrown all over, no one does the laundry, the ironing, the cleaning yet we managed to live.

There were also the NAFA days. The unintentionally awkward moments, drama, weird makeups, fun times and stage times.

Wait, before I go into details, which I really dont want to and I can spare you all that details as its allll on facebook. Besides, I am running late in meeting hollyandthewolves and raymond jr at Jurong Point for a hopefully success lepak session.

I found this photo:

This photo first surfaced on Friendster (Oh look, how ancient am I?) and looking back, I am such a sweetheart! I remember moving it to Facebook and xoxounicorn was commenting on how I should do a modern take on it!

Here it is:

Year 2012. Same tee, same toy, same room, same position of the room it was taken. But hair longer, body fatter, face bigger, different camera, different lighting.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Lucky bitch is me

I know how Koh and I fight countless of times and obviously these countless of times have caused us to be mentally unsound. But I know we meant no harm to each other and our exchanges are caused by the heat of the moment.

Koh is definitely a keeper and I will keep him by my side till death do us part.

The boy is currently having gastric flu and Im nursing him back to health. This is out of the norm as he hardly fall so weirdly sick and I need my boy slave back.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

A :oser like me

My life is boring. I am waiting for my time to come to an end at MOM while looking for a new job and vexing over what to wear for Chinese New Year (CNY). Currently, I am just want my hair to dry so I can sleep without the towel on.

I guess what I am trying to say is I have no goals, no (realistic) ambitions and still, at 22 years 7 months and 0 days, all I have to my name is the overflowing amount of fats my body takes in ever so quickly.

In fact, I saw myself in the mirror today and stared so hard, I decided I look 8 weeks and 27 days.

Remember when I say I don't need resolutions 'cause I am never good at keeping them? Well, maybe it was because I thought too lowly of temptations. Sure, I can make ALL the resolutions but really, this time, I need to wake up my fucking ideas and just grow a pair. I need to be brave and walk through this fire named Society.

So here goes:

1) Get the license.
Its been 3 years. What were you thinking?

2) Settle down with a job that pays.
Yup, do it for the money. Passion cannot be taken as food (although you really need to lose weight). Dont think of doing something you like unless a miracle happens. If someone pays you 5k (before CPF) to suck cock, you bloody hell suck his cock till he reach heaven.

3) Lose 1.5kg every damn month.
Or you can weigh yourself at the end of the year and make sure you see a lose of 20kg. Thats 10kg from 2011 and 10kg from 2012. HAHA, sucks to be you!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Photoshop fails v.6

6th installment of the most read-alots in SSL!

Enjoy these while I search for more. Look out for v.7!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012


An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Bubba:
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad:
For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Bubba

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local Police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad:
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Bubba

I took the liberty of

Since I am doing away with resolutions this year, I might as well just be contented with the number of public holidays I will enjoy this year of the dragon! Because I wont be working in the government sector after the 16th (not extending my contract), I just wanted to go into the MOM website one last time!

This year so sad! Most PH falls on a tuesday, means you have to tahan one Monday at work before enjoying the PH -.-' And Chinese New Year come too quick.

Monday, January 2, 2012

And if

You are wondering why I so free and can blog about you so fast is because I dl-ed the blogger app on my phone!

And because I want to feed you the attention you didn't get as a child. You are a charity case I volunteered to take on.

By the way, let's not argue about who start first la huh. I want to know the ending. I know who is gonna have the last laugh. Do you?


For your kind attention







It kinda bothered me that Katy Perry and Russell Brands ended up where they ended up.. in a divorce. Is there no happy endings in Hollywood anymore?

As much as I like to see them two looking awesome together, I feel that its inevitable. She is just too popular, too pretty for him. Either way, I remember watching Ellen last year (well, its 2012 already) and Katy was on the show. She mentioned how happily married she is and how wonderful Russell is.

I am not afraid to say this, but it pains me to know that they are splitting =[

But we have other things to worry about, such as the 7.0 Japan Earthquake that happened on New Year Day. Mother Nature, please mdm, can you give us a break?

You.. Little piece of shit

I say already right I don't want to have anything to do with you. Kindly stop tweeting bout me. 'Cause I do not blog about you every single day. What are you trying to prove? That you mean something to me? Yarrr, shit. You mean shit to me.

Excuse me, I do have a life. Cant you just read any other posts here other than the ones that has your name in it? By coming here to check if I blog about you does not mean you have a life! At least I dont go around asking people if I can go over to their house.

Bitch please, what have you done right? I feeling like Xiaxue debating with Dawn Yang but obviously as the latter has got a pea for a brain hence she thinks she is doing the right thing. Again, come the fuck on. You know what, you have haters, okay? MOVE ON NOW. Thanks.

Let's see who gets the last big fat laughter.

By the way, its 2012. YOU ARE 24! Stop being like a retard 90s kid and learn how to act like an 80s kid! I am saying this once and for all, I let 2011 stay in 2011. And if you are wondering how I get to see your tweets, lets just say that the "social media is not safe". Heh.