The amount of mindful fucks I give is

0. Zero. None. Kosong.

Usually I see myself having to handle people with low intelligence during the end of the year. In 2014, all was calm. I thought I broke the curse once and for all. Then came Jan 2015. 

But, there is a twist! Oh what fun.

What I've learnt is : Stupid people are nothing compared to those who are book smart but have no street cred to save themselves . Although no matter how advance technology is, there is no cure for stupidity . That we cannot blame. However, no matter how educated a person is (with degree / masters / phd from our local university), if they are not street smart, they also cannot learn how to be street smart from books ie. Study so much also no use . 

Difference between book smart and street smart : book smart reads books, street smart reads between the lines .

With that, here's my response .

Truth be told, I really don't give a rat's ass how you view me nor how you feel about me . I don't live for you neither do I feed on your abundance of love , if any.

I say what I want to say , do what I want to do, sit the way I want to sit, speak the way I want to speak, sleep whenever I want to sleep, pay no attention whenever I want to pay no attention. This is me being mindful of my personal desires.

Of course, I'm just pointing fingers at a handful of people on this social media platform . I am doing Publicity afterall. Where better to point my fingers at and how else better ? Being a keyboard warrior is the same as bitching behind someone's back, except I have a wider audience . 

For I am a thousand times bitchier. Here's what I would love to address.

1) Don't ask for committee's immediate approval if I am supposed be "smart" about it and ask to "take it offline", just because I asked too many questions as I am not book smart . Yes, there wasn't any need for me to understand because it's kinda NONE OF MY BUSINESS , but mind you, I am part of the committee . Therefore I can take an hour of the meeting to fully comprehend if needed to. I can't be and won't be nodding my head along rest due to time constraints. 

Also, I don't even think that's the correct term as we were offline =[

Then again, what do I know ? Y'all are the smartest ones !

2) I'm not sorry at all for not participating in the workshop . I've already said my apologizes to the one conducting and if i like to attend workshops, there are plenty provided by PA . 

Thing is I don't, especially if I am not interested in it.

3) I feel as thou I got trolled. Every time any of us organize events, we also produce a program. I don't see why you and you should be of any difference . However, the only information given to us was the venue and start&end timing . Whatever happened to the inbetween? I took the initiative to ask for the second day's plan so I can plan my own activities . I asked not just once, but three times to confirm. I even drop a text in the chatgroup and there wasn't any response . You and you who knows the exact timing or that there are changes should just reply and not have me blindly wait under the hot sun. I called upon reaching just to find out that y'all will be arriving an hour later . This caused a turbulence to my schedule . I had to make my way home instead . Time wasted. Money wasted . Above all, I could have a better planning of my own activities .

#FML

4) If you don't know, don't talk cock. Don't come and tell someone else saying dodgeball IG is unsustainable if I have to be there at every session. Like watering a water pipe ; it will not grow. 

(Actually, it will grow...grow rusty. LOL )

Will. Not. Grow ?!?!?!

So funny, it deserves two memes.

You must be kidding me. Because since the last we spoke , many things have change . I am truly disappointed in you. First of all, you don't even know how we run things , you don't even bother to find out . Secondly, you have never joined us in any session, in any events . Thirdly , honestly what have you done as a Sports Secretary? Perhaps you should do some mindful reflecting before saying mindless stuff .

I am only 67/90 on the mindful scale !

Someone asked me what is PAYM all about . I said a group of youths with the same ideology coming together to build a better community between communities . Apparently, I was lying through my teeth . I am very proud of what I've contributed thus far and feel that I've done my part to the fullest. There is only so much I can do yet I have definitely done so much more than the previous conveyor. 

You want successful and regular small scale events? Here's 4 since I took over.

Yes, I may refuse to participate in other activities that is of a bigger scale involving other committees, that doesn't mean I am a pushover . I am just not like most you. I don't find joy to be involved in other things . If you noticed me the way you notice other people, you will find that my talent lies within kids and they are who I love working with. 

Not everyone can handle 30 running kids at one time.

I maybe rude (and crude) in some of your eyes but that's because you fail to read between the lines. You fail to read tones and facial expressions. You fail at the streets. Therefore , take offense all you want , because 

us

I am nothing like her, and she's nothing like me.

I will never understand why you would chose someone like her over someone like me. How did your taste change overnight? What did I do to have pushed you so far away from me? I stood by you thru hard times. I supported you thru hard times. I was there for you all the time.

But, where were you when I needed you?

I pondered over our relationship every now and then. How did this bittersweet emotion feel so right? How did I manage to overlook every single flaws of yours? How was it possible that every inch of you is beautiful to me? Why did I even try to see your beauty?

I loved you, thats why.

I cherished our fights, our disagreements, our everything negative. I think it adds spice to our relationship and I wouldn't exchange any second of that for the world. All the battle scars we had are all worth it. All the heated exchanges were all worth it.

Because, it means we were fighting for each other.

There are so much more I'd do for you then that I will still do for you now. I hope you are doing great. I hope she takes good care of you , even more than I ever did. I hope you have found your one true love. I hope she has also found her one true love.

That girl who is nothing like me.

I am a woman, and this is what I want -

Lately, there have been an influx of articles with list after list after list of Relationship Advices, Who to Date, How to be Dateable, etc (and they are still sprouting everywhere!). While I find myself agreeing (and nodding my head) to some of these articles, some times these articles does not fully apply on me. Therefore, for my future husband and self, please take note of the following;

What I, R.Celine Ng, really want -

1) Communication

This has always been my number 1. As a Gemini, I talk alot. I tell you about my daily life, I expect you to also share yours. Even if its the same old boring crap that been happening at work for the past 18 days, yes, I want to hear them. I believe its very unhealthy to bottle up your emotions. I should be the one you are sharing your anger and joy with, not your colleague(s) or the Auntie next door. We can NEVER go to bed angry.

2) Honesty

..is always the best policy. I don't like to be kept in the dark. If you want to be secretive about your life, go be a spy.

3) Understanding

Despite my love for communication, I hope in the long run, you are able to read me occasionally (especially when the situation needs you to). I mean, I reckon being together for a period of time,  I would be able to read your body language or even predict your next action. Thus, if you care for me, you would want to give me more, or all your attention. Bitches love attention.

4) Respect

It comes in many forms and applies to a lot of things. Just bear in mind that I am typically not your average MiinAhLiianZx on the streets. If I say no, it bloody hell means no. I might be princessy at times, but if I say no sex tonight, it really means sex is off the table for tonight. But you can spoon me to sleep every night.

5) To be able to be myself

Everyone has a past, a present, and obviously, my future is with you. I would love to hear/know all about your past (from ex girlfriends to second failed marriage to the time you randomly bought me a Lamborghini), share the present, and plan for the future. However, you cannot stop me from being me and from what I want to do in life.

Thus,

Dear Future Lover whom someday I would call mine,

Although we will be spending the rest of our lives together, I am still entitled to have my own set of homeboys who you will def get to meet and hang out with (of course I still get to have my lone time with them), my own girls night out which you will get to pick me up after I am done (will call you 30 mins in advance), and I get to go home to my dad any time I want (even if we are not residing in Singapore).

Above all the wants and needs of mine, I promise to keep you in mind and spare a thought for you as well. I am not a tough nut to crack, albeit it takes a lot of patience. Whoever you are, I thank you in advance for loving me despite my unconventional irrational occasionally unreasonable ways.

Love,
Me

p/s: I also want a 1.5 carat princess cut diamond of excellent quality sitting firmly on top of a rose gold set ring which will be staying put on my ring finger for as long as I am alive and married to you. Here's a photo for reference;

Ti-gers

Dont say I never wong you  ^^
Article idea courtesy of Silver .

First we had the bubble tea craze, then the donut craze, followed by GongCha/Koi craze , and here we are at the Siam Tiu* craze. The world is constantly changing its trend and I am at a crossroad. At every trend, I could understand each and every pro and cons, and I obviously took sides; like it or not. Nonetheless, every trend was toxic in its own little ways.. except the last - Siam Tiu. It's toxic as fuck.

Hollywood Thai Disco - Looks fun, meh?

Don't get me wrong. I dont hate Thailand. What is there is hate ? Everything is cheap there, and because its so near Singapore (mere 2 hours flight), I believe everyone agrees that its the perfect getaway for shopaholics. I have so many Thai friends sometimes its impossible to meet them all up on one trip.

Even finnfinnthebettertwin hearts Bangkok!

What I hate... is the idea of a Siam Tiu and its purpose. I've been to three different discos on three separate occasions and yup, my perspective of a Siam Tiu has never change. The working girls were mediocre, the music was shit, and worse of all, its always dramatic. However, I've never really had any problems with their existence. It takes two to clap - these girls, although on social visit pass, are just out to earn a living; decent or not. Men, horny enough, will just go for it.

I would like to think that if I am a guy, I would have better standards than this.

I dont ever remember ever telling myself or to my friends "such a great night. we should come here again." at the end of our drinking sessions. Unlike Zouk or Butter or even Sluttica.

Ultimately, almost all men are the same. This was where the problems I have with Siam Tiu started.

When my childhood friend (who is half Thai) got himself involved with a Thai girl, I was like "hey, he's going back to half of his roots". I was genuinely happy for him because he finally found love despite how dramatic his girlfriend's reaction was to my existence. I backed off naturally. This means no contact whatsoever with that friend whom I've known for many years whenever the girlfriend was in town or he's overseas with her.

I dont know where or how in the blue moon I've offended her but just the same, I couldnt stand the sight of her anyway. I learnt to live and respect my friend's decision. I even tried to be in the same room with her because I am bro enough but yah, some things just cannot be forced.

Note; I am not indicating that my friend's girlfriend is a gold digger. Please do not spread nasty 

rumours. 

Secretly, I always feel that these Thai working girls are here for the same reason - to earn more money. Then, because of one or two black sheeps who started dating them and showering them with more money, soon the trend of dating a Thai working girl ignited. What does that mean for us Singaporean girls who want to settle down with a Singaporean man? Shit, really. Shit.

Asians, Singaporeans in general imho, women have the tendency of wanting to dating White men, I get that. Perhaps we feel that they have more earning power hence due to the standard of living here, we succumb to dating someone whom we think can give us better lives. Singaporean men forever complaining about how gullible these women are. Now, the tables are turned. Singaporean men are suddenly the White men in Thai culture!

It must have been such a huge impact on every Singaporean men's ego.

So in recent events, one of my very very close friend got himself involved with a Thai girl too and he said to be very much in love with her despite knowing her for barely a month. He was with his girlfriend for nearly 5 years and broke things off with her so that he could bring the Thai girl home. He brought her home the very night she left. Needless to say, he's no longer in our lives.

We are still in mourning period and I came across this status posted by a stranger.. who is a guy, by the way. It hit home. The article rulings went -

To my dear friends who are addicted to Thai Clubs.

Thai Club Anti Gong Tao Rules:

No. 1 - Puying are here for work. They are not looking for a relationship with you.

No. 2 - Puying give you the Girlfriend Effect (GFE). Please do not mistake this for love.

No. 3 - Puying have a daily quota for Ladies Drinks. They will flirt with you to meet this quota.

No. 4 - Puying exchange their numbers so as to sms you "i miss you", "will you come find me"... It is their usual practice so don't think you are special.

No. 5 - It is quite common to bring Puying to supper after their work or even go out on their off days. They are just finding a guy to provide the free transport service, food, entertainment and shopping spree. Obviously they will treat u like their bf during such sessions.

No. 6 - Darling or teerak is easy for them to call out to you. Please realise that every customers to them can be a darling or teerak and don't feel that you are the only special one.

No. 7 - Do not prioritize them over your job, family and true friends.

No. 8 - Deep dive into your mind and ask yourself (Its love or lust?).

No. 9 - You ARE just another customer.

No. 10 - Hurt them rather than getting yourself hurt (That's the basis of most of the Thai songs out there 555).

No. 11 - Make them fall for you first.

No. 12 - Don't give them your real name.

No. 13 - Don't give them your address or home number.

No. 14 - Don't promise them anything.

No. 15 - Don't give them cash.

No. 16 - Don't reveal your pay.

No. 17 - When asked for ladies drink (LD) or flowers, tell them "Not today, going back soon, another day".

No. 18 - Fact: Singers make from $5K to 8K every month. Models/PRs earn from $8K to $10K every month. Those good ones get $15k and above. Plus branded luxury free give. They might be earning more money than you.

No. 19 - Do not believe their sad stories.

No. 20 - Their names is not their real names.

No. 21 - Do not send money to her back in Thailand.

No. 22 - If you both are in love, do be prepared to maintain a long distance relationship.

No. 23 - If you both are together, do be prepared that she will continue her work as a PR/Singer/Model.

No. 24 - Thai Culture is very different from Malaysian Culture. Be prepared to put in the 110% effort to work out the umpteen hurdles from family and otherwise.

No. 25 - Be prepared to support her and give her money to send home if you insist she not work as PR/Singer/Model. You will be supporting her parents, siblings, herself and yourself.

We are worried for this friend of ours but there is nothing we can do about it because he's a big boy. He has been with the same girl since he was 20; prolly many things other guys his age had experience but he didnt get the chance to because he was living a very "married" life. That's the excuse I've given him to make things easier on my side, however they had a pact: "He could do whatever he wants outside as long as he knows where is Home". I doubt anyone in the right mind would not be happy with that pact.

Bitch please, we cant please everyone.

I thank lucky stars and count blessings everyday that Laode doesnt like Siam Tiu as well. Its not like no one asks him, or he doesnt like it because I dont like it. Its just great news for me as I will never have to catch him in the act and I know that wherever he goes, its always some place decent. So ladies, if your men likes to hang around places like this because "beer are cheap", "my friend works there", etc, please just beware and monitor closely. Don't fall victim to some of these cunning bitches.

* Siam Tiu means Thai disco

Laze

Sunset at Ko Phi Phi . 

The littlest things picks you up and turns you around. If you feel discourage, there is always a lack of colour until you find the littlest thing - the spectrum A to Z . It's the littlest things that don't matter, matter. I should have given you a reason to stay, but I chose to walk away .

This is fact, not fiction, for the first time in months . Everything about us was based on my fantasy ; that voice in my head . I've been thinking lately, you don't need me anymore . And god knows, it's a common misconception that you are the one for me . I was certain about it . In fact, I could flew you to France if you asked. 

Of course, that doesn't matter anymore , because the littlest things do not exist . 

Another one of those ..

Her eyes sparkled with distress. I should be cross with her for giving me such a fright, instead I let her into my messy but presentable home. As she picked up the dial to key in her husbands number, I decided to make a pot of tea. I reckon both of us needed one to calm our nerves . 

Sally had been my neighbor for as long as I had lived here . We hardly speak. In fact, after switching to the night shift, I did not see her around anymore. Her husband, James , travelled a lot for work. They did not have kids and Sally was a very independent woman. To have her left her keys in her car and flustering into my apartment right behind me, something was definitely not right . However, I did not want to intentionally eavesdrop. Sally would tell me once the time is right.

After what felt like forever and I was beginning to hope it was a call made locally, Sally set the receiver back on the dial and looked at me. "I'm pregnant!", Sally exploded her need with such joy and pride that my apartment was engulfed with a scent of happiness; an emotion that hasn't been emitted in a while. I was happy. Happy for my childhood sweetheart. 

Believe VS Knowledge

People close to me would have realised the change in me. As I grew older, perhaps its the motherly instincts kicking in, I started to lose myself and became the overthinker I am today. My homies questioned me, asking where is the Celine they used to know. That strong carefree woman they knew since 17 and a half. As I search deep within myself, not only I couldnt find the answer, I start to over worry.

Today, I had the honour to sit and listen to the stud muffin who finally gave me constructive comments, telling me about Hope and Expectations.

It really does not take too long to understand how I work; what you see is what you get. I never hide who I truly am. But, to be able to understand me in such short period of time, I take my hat off Oldman. Old and wise, doesnt even fully describe him. I am thankful for his presence in my life.

As negative as I may be now, he pulls me back on the right track. I cant turn to my positive self overnight, however I am trying. I am sharing this because I am going through a difficult time, finding myself and understanding myself all over again. I mean, at 24 and a half, I finally am starting to develop armpit hairs and pimples! Wadddup, Puberty.

I've stopped writing, I know. Then, I lost myself.

Perhaps expressing myself in words is the best way to wake myself up. I got to get up, prove a point, prove people wrong, and prove myself that I am not who I am now. I am better than that. Now that I am almost done with my wake up call to myself, its time to hit the sack and await the wake up call from Oldman because I got work at 9am. I hate working in the mornings...

Things that I will never tell you

I am totally the man in this picture while Koh's the woman.

Coming into the 6th month of my breakup with Koh, I am reaching the stage of resentment at myself and feeling really sorry for myself. Last two nights was full of "what has become of me". At first, i get sympathy from my friends then it was pity and now, I guess I am just annoying the fuck out of them. When asked what should I do if one day I were to stop teaching, Oldman said, "Write". I pondered on it for abit and then agreed. I may not a writer to begin with, however he reminded me of how useful this tool is.

It was a tool I used to get it out of my system.

A relationship is like cooking soup; too many cooks spoil it, but when and if given too little attention, water gets evaporated into nothing. What happened between the both of us was abit of everything. There was a time where I cheated, then we both cared too much, then he cheated, then I decided to take steps back while he threw his attention at me, then there is where we are right now. Guess we just grew old too fast and instead of going out doing things people our age do, we stayed in, cuddled, and that was it. We led such a "marriage" lifestyle, I almost didn't blame him for cheating on me - I still don't.

Whereas for the longest time, I blamed it on myself. I said, to myself, that I wasn't good enough, I was just terrible, I didn't listen, I couldn't get to him 'cause I didn't try hard enough, 'cause I was lazy, 'cause I this I that.Every.Single.Day.

Given everything that happened during the years we had been together, and if we kept tabs, I am Jesus of all Girlfriends, I daresay.

Given everything that happened during the years we had been together, we both know its unhealthy if we kept on going.

Given everything that happened during the years we had been together, and I still will go back to him in a heartbeat -without any romantic gestures-, I think I am a failure, which, sad to say, I am.

Maybe, I shouldn't be reminiscing at all. Perhaps, its the period that's talking right now. Otherwise, I'd like to start on my list of Things I Will Never Tell You. After months of avoiding and hiding my feelings under my bed, this is going to be my first step of handling my breakup with Koh. Although, I never expect a day where he will stop loving me and stop being my The One, I wish him the best with the other 937873987 girls he's chasing right now.

I will never tell you how comfortable you make me feel under my skin for the first few years of our relationship. Maybe your dick just needed some actions and I was there therefore in order to get some, your natural instinct was to praise me.

I will never tell you how how much I needed you and our relationship. How our hands fit nicely into each other's and how nice it is to be with someone who never belittles me.

I will never tell you how I sometimes wonder why me. Why of all the girls in the world, you picked me.

I will never tell you that it hurts now that it is game over for the both of us. I miss my best friend everyday.

I will never tell you that I thought we were forever. Despite all the shortcomings, you are the one I love.

I will never tell you that its your face I want to wake up to every damn morning and the face I want to see before I fall asleep. Its not very handsome nor pleasant yet its the only thing I look forward to.

I will never tell you how much of a liar you are. You said I could tell you everything and anything but then, we hardly speak anymore. It's getting crazy and unbecoming of me to block you from my social media platforms just so that you would miss me too.

I will never tell you that I hate myself for caring, wallowing in self pity and not getting you out of my head. Why wasnt I enough and am I really not enough.

I will never tell you that.

I will never.

In another Teacher's hindsight

As a teacher, i feel sympathetic towards classroom teachers.



He (the teacher) forwent his pride and dignity to calm the tits (no pun intended) of his student who I reckon has family issues.

However, I wouldnt have apologised to the student for "shouting" at him. He is not deaf but obviously could have some kind of hearing problem. Either he couldnt hear the previous instruction given to him or he refuse to listen to that said instruction.. See, hearing loss maybe.

"Someone who has hearing loss might be able to hear some sounds or nothing at all."

-http://kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/sight/hearing_impairment.html

I guess the teacher was taken aback by the sudden outburst of the student. His voice was shaking as thou processing and finding the right words to say to the student at the same time.

As much as I hate to say this, but its because of one or two f these rotten apples in a basket that makes Normal Technical stream seem..terrible. I mean you already in that stream where people, for lack of better word, look down on you then why don't you feel the need to like prove them wrong?

With viral videos like this, even if the student had received public caning and had apologised to the teacher, it doesn't bring back that said teacher's dignity and pride nor the school's reputation. Kids, the term shouldn't be the reason for their behaviour.

We cannot condone their actions based on "iya, they are still young". If so, when does that 'young' dateline end?

FIT Start programme @ California Fitness

Gym... the place I always want to be. I used to work in California Fitness for close to 2 years but that was at least 4 years ago. I felt so nostalgic upon stepping foot into California Fitness Takashimaya. Although I was from Raffles but the smell and the system remains the same!

Arranged to go with these two women so I wont be lonely. I ended class late and they waited for me. I am not sure how or where I managed to find friends like this but I am blessed to have them in my life. This Valentine forever cracking me up.

You see. We go California Fitness but she wear True Fitness top. Shocked Chung and I then I just burst out laughing and I couldnt stop for a while. We got changed and was directed to a fitness trainer.

Meet our trainer.

We were told to measure our body fats and muscles content via this machine Inbody 230 which is a body composition analyser. It is 98% accurate and I was shocked that my left hand is stronger than my right. Perhaps its time to train my left hand in dodgeball...

I just had to stand there and let the machine do its job. When its done, it will send the data to the printer and the trainer will assist you in explaining. We then got spilt up from Chung..She has back problems. The trainers are so professional that they will customise the workout for you.

Here is Val and I carefully listening to where our fats lies. I am surprised that I am not obese.

 We got to try the TRX -

TRX
Using heavy-duty nylon webbings attached to wall brackets, TRX utilizes your own body weight to build strength, balance, flexibility and core stability. If you are interested in this highly effective, intensive training program, look no further than our team of TRX-certified personal trainers to help you get started.

  

My bun very nice.

By using our body weight, we got to balance and push ourselves to a higher level of exercise, in my honest opinion. Some of it was easy - cause the trainer demo first then guide you to the right position and off you go. It was tough. I wouldnt feel my arms after but the feeling was awesome.

At California Fitness, they have other programmes too -

FIT Start

Your FIT Start training session, with one of our fitness professionals, is one of the most effective ways of getting started on the right track towards achieving your fitness goals. The FIT Start program includes introduction to the Xpress Zone circuit of resistance training equipment, providing a basis upon which to build a personalized fitness program.

Kick Fit

A high-intensity full-body workout that combines traditional boxing with Muay Thai.  It can burn up to 800 calories per hour!

Best of all, you get your own training space.

Private Personal Training Area

Get your individual workout with our professional trainers to enhance your workout routine at our dedicated Private Personal Training Area. Your one-on-one Personal Trainer will help you achieve your ultimate level of conditioning quickly, safely, and effectively.

So..

Let's get personal!

Our personal training is just that - personal. When you work with a California Fitness personal trainer in Singapore, you’ll benefit from a personal fitness training program that’s custom-built with your goals in mind. Our trainers know exactly what it takes to achieve your individual goals in the fastest, safest way possible, from devising a balanced nutritional regimen up to a customized fitness training program to get you the results you want, whether it is to slim down, bulk up, de-stress or improve fitness levels.

Head down to any California Fitness today and sign up for a week trial. If you like it, you put a membership on it! Here's to a better lifestyle. I have dodgeball twice a week, I think thats what I can handle for now. But, I really enjoyed TRX and when I am ready to push myself further and be the prettiest, most well toned bride ever, I will definitely sign up then. And no, I am not getting married.

More information - California Fitness Website