Showing posts with label just for laughs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label just for laughs. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

The amount of mindful fucks I give is

0. Zero. None. Kosong.

Usually I see myself having to handle people with low intelligence during the end of the year. In 2014, all was calm. I thought I broke the curse once and for all. Then came Jan 2015. 

But, there is a twist! Oh what fun.

What I've learnt is : Stupid people are nothing compared to those who are book smart but have no street cred to save themselves . Although no matter how advance technology is, there is no cure for stupidity . That we cannot blame. However, no matter how educated a person is (with degree / masters / phd from our local university), if they are not street smart, they also cannot learn how to be street smart from books ie. Study so much also no use . 

Difference between book smart and street smart : book smart reads books, street smart reads between the lines .

With that, here's my response .


Truth be told, I really don't give a rat's ass how you view me nor how you feel about me . I don't live for you neither do I feed on your abundance of love , if any.

I say what I want to say , do what I want to do, sit the way I want to sit, speak the way I want to speak, sleep whenever I want to sleep, pay no attention whenever I want to pay no attention. This is me being mindful of my personal desires.



Of course, I'm just pointing fingers at a handful of people on this social media platform . I am doing Publicity afterall. Where better to point my fingers at and how else better ? Being a keyboard warrior is the same as bitching behind someone's back, except I have a wider audience . 

For I am a thousand times bitchier. Here's what I would love to address.

1) Don't ask for committee's immediate approval if I am supposed be "smart" about it and ask to "take it offline", just because I asked too many questions as I am not book smart . Yes, there wasn't any need for me to understand because it's kinda NONE OF MY BUSINESS , but mind you, I am part of the committee . Therefore I can take an hour of the meeting to fully comprehend if needed to. I can't be and won't be nodding my head along rest due to time constraints. 

Also, I don't even think that's the correct term as we were offline =[



Then again, what do I know ? Y'all are the smartest ones !

2) I'm not sorry at all for not participating in the workshop . I've already said my apologizes to the one conducting and if i like to attend workshops, there are plenty provided by PA . 

Thing is I don't, especially if I am not interested in it.

3) I feel as thou I got trolled. Every time any of us organize events, we also produce a program. I don't see why you and you should be of any difference . However, the only information given to us was the venue and start&end timing . Whatever happened to the inbetween? I took the initiative to ask for the second day's plan so I can plan my own activities . I asked not just once, but three times to confirm. I even drop a text in the chatgroup and there wasn't any response . You and you who knows the exact timing or that there are changes should just reply and not have me blindly wait under the hot sun. I called upon reaching just to find out that y'all will be arriving an hour later . This caused a turbulence to my schedule . I had to make my way home instead . Time wasted. Money wasted . Above all, I could have a better planning of my own activities .

#FML

4) If you don't know, don't talk cock. Don't come and tell someone else saying dodgeball IG is unsustainable if I have to be there at every session. Like watering a water pipe ; it will not grow. 
(Actually, it will grow...grow rusty. LOL )

Will. Not. Grow ?!?!?!

So funny, it deserves two memes.

You must be kidding me. Because since the last we spoke , many things have change . I am truly disappointed in you. First of all, you don't even know how we run things , you don't even bother to find out . Secondly, you have never joined us in any session, in any events . Thirdly , honestly what have you done as a Sports Secretary? Perhaps you should do some mindful reflecting before saying mindless stuff .

I am only 67/90 on the mindful scale !

Someone asked me what is PAYM all about . I said a group of youths with the same ideology coming together to build a better community between communities . Apparently, I was lying through my teeth . I am very proud of what I've contributed thus far and feel that I've done my part to the fullest. There is only so much I can do yet I have definitely done so much more than the previous conveyor. 

You want successful and regular small scale events? Here's 4 since I took over.

Yes, I may refuse to participate in other activities that is of a bigger scale involving other committees, that doesn't mean I am a pushover . I am just not like most you. I don't find joy to be involved in other things . If you noticed me the way you notice other people, you will find that my talent lies within kids and they are who I love working with. 

Not everyone can handle 30 running kids at one time.

I maybe rude (and crude) in some of your eyes but that's because you fail to read between the lines. You fail to read tones and facial expressions. You fail at the streets. Therefore , take offense all you want , because 


Saturday, July 26, 2014

Ti-gers

Dont say I never wong you  ^^
Article idea courtesy of Silver .

First we had the bubble tea craze, then the donut craze, followed by GongCha/Koi craze , and here we are at the Siam Tiu* craze. The world is constantly changing its trend and I am at a crossroad. At every trend, I could understand each and every pro and cons, and I obviously took sides; like it or not. Nonetheless, every trend was toxic in its own little ways.. except the last - Siam Tiu. It's toxic as fuck.

Hollywood Thai Disco - Looks fun, meh?

Don't get me wrong. I dont hate Thailand. What is there is hate ? Everything is cheap there, and because its so near Singapore (mere 2 hours flight), I believe everyone agrees that its the perfect getaway for shopaholics. I have so many Thai friends sometimes its impossible to meet them all up on one trip.

Even finnfinnthebettertwin hearts Bangkok!

What I hate... is the idea of a Siam Tiu and its purpose. I've been to three different discos on three separate occasions and yup, my perspective of a Siam Tiu has never change. The working girls were mediocre, the music was shit, and worse of all, its always dramatic. However, I've never really had any problems with their existence. It takes two to clap - these girls, although on social visit pass, are just out to earn a living; decent or not. Men, horny enough, will just go for it.

I would like to think that if I am a guy, I would have better standards than this.

I dont ever remember ever telling myself or to my friends "such a great night. we should come here again." at the end of our drinking sessions. Unlike Zouk or Butter or even Sluttica.

Ultimately, almost all men are the same. This was where the problems I have with Siam Tiu started.

When my childhood friend (who is half Thai) got himself involved with a Thai girl, I was like "hey, he's going back to half of his roots". I was genuinely happy for him because he finally found love despite how dramatic his girlfriend's reaction was to my existence. I backed off naturally. This means no contact whatsoever with that friend whom I've known for many years whenever the girlfriend was in town or he's overseas with her.

I dont know where or how in the blue moon I've offended her but just the same, I couldnt stand the sight of her anyway. I learnt to live and respect my friend's decision. I even tried to be in the same room with her because I am bro enough but yah, some things just cannot be forced.

Note; I am not indicating that my friend's girlfriend is a gold digger. Please do not spread nasty 
rumours. 

Secretly, I always feel that these Thai working girls are here for the same reason - to earn more money. Then, because of one or two black sheeps who started dating them and showering them with more money, soon the trend of dating a Thai working girl ignited. What does that mean for us Singaporean girls who want to settle down with a Singaporean man? Shit, really. Shit.

Asians, Singaporeans in general imho, women have the tendency of wanting to dating White men, I get that. Perhaps we feel that they have more earning power hence due to the standard of living here, we succumb to dating someone whom we think can give us better lives. Singaporean men forever complaining about how gullible these women are. Now, the tables are turned. Singaporean men are suddenly the White men in Thai culture!

It must have been such a huge impact on every Singaporean men's ego.

So in recent events, one of my very very close friend got himself involved with a Thai girl too and he said to be very much in love with her despite knowing her for barely a month. He was with his girlfriend for nearly 5 years and broke things off with her so that he could bring the Thai girl home. He brought her home the very night she left. Needless to say, he's no longer in our lives.

We are still in mourning period and I came across this status posted by a stranger.. who is a guy, by the way. It hit home. The article rulings went -

To my dear friends who are addicted to Thai Clubs.

Thai Club Anti Gong Tao Rules:

No. 1 - Puying are here for work. They are not looking for a relationship with you.

No. 2 - Puying give you the Girlfriend Effect (GFE). Please do not mistake this for love.

No. 3 - Puying have a daily quota for Ladies Drinks. They will flirt with you to meet this quota.

No. 4 - Puying exchange their numbers so as to sms you "i miss you", "will you come find me"... It is their usual practice so don't think you are special.

No. 5 - It is quite common to bring Puying to supper after their work or even go out on their off days. They are just finding a guy to provide the free transport service, food, entertainment and shopping spree. Obviously they will treat u like their bf during such sessions.

No. 6 - Darling or teerak is easy for them to call out to you. Please realise that every customers to them can be a darling or teerak and don't feel that you are the only special one.

No. 7 - Do not prioritize them over your job, family and true friends.

No. 8 - Deep dive into your mind and ask yourself (Its love or lust?).

No. 9 - You ARE just another customer.

No. 10 - Hurt them rather than getting yourself hurt (That's the basis of most of the Thai songs out there 555).

No. 11 - Make them fall for you first.

No. 12 - Don't give them your real name.

No. 13 - Don't give them your address or home number.

No. 14 - Don't promise them anything.

No. 15 - Don't give them cash.

No. 16 - Don't reveal your pay.

No. 17 - When asked for ladies drink (LD) or flowers, tell them "Not today, going back soon, another day".

No. 18 - Fact: Singers make from $5K to 8K every month. Models/PRs earn from $8K to $10K every month. Those good ones get $15k and above. Plus branded luxury free give. They might be earning more money than you.

No. 19 - Do not believe their sad stories.

No. 20 - Their names is not their real names.

No. 21 - Do not send money to her back in Thailand.

No. 22 - If you both are in love, do be prepared to maintain a long distance relationship.

No. 23 - If you both are together, do be prepared that she will continue her work as a PR/Singer/Model.

No. 24 - Thai Culture is very different from Malaysian Culture. Be prepared to put in the 110% effort to work out the umpteen hurdles from family and otherwise.

No. 25 - Be prepared to support her and give her money to send home if you insist she not work as PR/Singer/Model. You will be supporting her parents, siblings, herself and yourself.


We are worried for this friend of ours but there is nothing we can do about it because he's a big boy. He has been with the same girl since he was 20; prolly many things other guys his age had experience but he didnt get the chance to because he was living a very "married" life. That's the excuse I've given him to make things easier on my side, however they had a pact: "He could do whatever he wants outside as long as he knows where is Home". I doubt anyone in the right mind would not be happy with that pact.

Bitch please, we cant please everyone.

I thank lucky stars and count blessings everyday that Laode doesnt like Siam Tiu as well. Its not like no one asks him, or he doesnt like it because I dont like it. Its just great news for me as I will never have to catch him in the act and I know that wherever he goes, its always some place decent. So ladies, if your men likes to hang around places like this because "beer are cheap", "my friend works there", etc, please just beware and monitor closely. Don't fall victim to some of these cunning bitches.



* Siam Tiu means Thai disco

Friday, February 7, 2014

Things that I will never tell you

I am totally the man in this picture while Koh's the woman.

Coming into the 6th month of my breakup with Koh, I am reaching the stage of resentment at myself and feeling really sorry for myself. Last two nights was full of "what has become of me". At first, i get sympathy from my friends then it was pity and now, I guess I am just annoying the fuck out of them. When asked what should I do if one day I were to stop teaching, Oldman said, "Write". I pondered on it for abit and then agreed. I may not a writer to begin with, however he reminded me of how useful this tool is.

It was a tool I used to get it out of my system.

A relationship is like cooking soup; too many cooks spoil it, but when and if given too little attention, water gets evaporated into nothing. What happened between the both of us was abit of everything. There was a time where I cheated, then we both cared too much, then he cheated, then I decided to take steps back while he threw his attention at me, then there is where we are right now. Guess we just grew old too fast and instead of going out doing things people our age do, we stayed in, cuddled, and that was it. We led such a "marriage" lifestyle, I almost didn't blame him for cheating on me - I still don't.

Whereas for the longest time, I blamed it on myself. I said, to myself, that I wasn't good enough, I was just terrible, I didn't listen, I couldn't get to him 'cause I didn't try hard enough, 'cause I was lazy, 'cause I this I that.Every.Single.Day.

Given everything that happened during the years we had been together, and if we kept tabs, I am Jesus of all Girlfriends, I daresay.

Given everything that happened during the years we had been together, we both know its unhealthy if we kept on going.

Given everything that happened during the years we had been together, and I still will go back to him in a heartbeat -without any romantic gestures-, I think I am a failure, which, sad to say, I am.

Maybe, I shouldn't be reminiscing at all. Perhaps, its the period that's talking right now. Otherwise, I'd like to start on my list of Things I Will Never Tell You. After months of avoiding and hiding my feelings under my bed, this is going to be my first step of handling my breakup with Koh. Although, I never expect a day where he will stop loving me and stop being my The One, I wish him the best with the other 937873987 girls he's chasing right now.

I will never tell you how comfortable you make me feel under my skin for the first few years of our relationship. Maybe your dick just needed some actions and I was there therefore in order to get some, your natural instinct was to praise me.

I will never tell you how how much I needed you and our relationship. How our hands fit nicely into each other's and how nice it is to be with someone who never belittles me.

I will never tell you how I sometimes wonder why me. Why of all the girls in the world, you picked me.

I will never tell you that it hurts now that it is game over for the both of us. I miss my best friend everyday.

I will never tell you that I thought we were forever. Despite all the shortcomings, you are the one I love.

I will never tell you that its your face I want to wake up to every damn morning and the face I want to see before I fall asleep. Its not very handsome nor pleasant yet its the only thing I look forward to.

I will never tell you how much of a liar you are. You said I could tell you everything and anything but then, we hardly speak anymore. It's getting crazy and unbecoming of me to block you from my social media platforms just so that you would miss me too.

I will never tell you that I hate myself for caring, wallowing in self pity and not getting you out of my head. Why wasnt I enough and am I really not enough.

I will never tell you that.

I will never.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

FIT Start programme @ California Fitness




Gym... the place I always want to be. I used to work in California Fitness for close to 2 years but that was at least 4 years ago. I felt so nostalgic upon stepping foot into California Fitness Takashimaya. Although I was from Raffles but the smell and the system remains the same!



Arranged to go with these two women so I wont be lonely. I ended class late and they waited for me. I am not sure how or where I managed to find friends like this but I am blessed to have them in my life. This Valentine forever cracking me up.



You see. We go California Fitness but she wear True Fitness top. Shocked Chung and I then I just burst out laughing and I couldnt stop for a while. We got changed and was directed to a fitness trainer.


Meet our trainer.

We were told to measure our body fats and muscles content via this machine Inbody 230 which is a body composition analyser. It is 98% accurate and I was shocked that my left hand is stronger than my right. Perhaps its time to train my left hand in dodgeball...



I just had to stand there and let the machine do its job. When its done, it will send the data to the printer and the trainer will assist you in explaining. We then got spilt up from Chung..She has back problems. The trainers are so professional that they will customise the workout for you.



Here is Val and I carefully listening to where our fats lies. I am surprised that I am not obese.


 We got to try the TRX -

TRX
Using heavy-duty nylon webbings attached to wall brackets, TRX utilizes your own body weight to build strength, balance, flexibility and core stability. If you are interested in this highly effective, intensive training program, look no further than our team of TRX-certified personal trainers to help you get started.







  
My bun very nice.






By using our body weight, we got to balance and push ourselves to a higher level of exercise, in my honest opinion. Some of it was easy - cause the trainer demo first then guide you to the right position and off you go. It was tough. I wouldnt feel my arms after but the feeling was awesome.

At California Fitness, they have other programmes too -


FIT Start
Your FIT Start training session, with one of our fitness professionals, is one of the most effective ways of getting started on the right track towards achieving your fitness goals. The FIT Start program includes introduction to the Xpress Zone circuit of resistance training equipment, providing a basis upon which to build a personalized fitness program.

A high-intensity full-body workout that combines traditional boxing with Muay Thai.  It can burn up to 800 calories per hour!

Best of all, you get your own training space.

Private Personal Training Area
Get your individual workout with our professional trainers to enhance your workout routine at our dedicated Private Personal Training Area. Your one-on-one Personal Trainer will help you achieve your ultimate level of conditioning quickly, safely, and effectively.

So..

Let's get personal!
Our personal training is just that - personal. When you work with a California Fitness personal trainer in Singapore, you’ll benefit from a personal fitness training program that’s custom-built with your goals in mind. Our trainers know exactly what it takes to achieve your individual goals in the fastest, safest way possible, from devising a balanced nutritional regimen up to a customized fitness training program to get you the results you want, whether it is to slim down, bulk up, de-stress or improve fitness levels.

Head down to any California Fitness today and sign up for a week trial. If you like it, you put a membership on it! Here's to a better lifestyle. I have dodgeball twice a week, I think thats what I can handle for now. But, I really enjoyed TRX and when I am ready to push myself further and be the prettiest, most well toned bride ever, I will definitely sign up then. And no, I am not getting married.

More information - California Fitness Website

Monday, December 2, 2013

Six buds none the weiser


On saturday, I saw myself heading to the community club for a 4 hours long voluntary work and then, a 2 hour math lesson with my two girls and finally letting my hair down at Budweiser event that Issac Ritz so generously invited me with plus three. (Okay, Lim was supposed to come with her plus one but she bailed at the eleventh hour so I took it as I can plus three.)

I decided that I got enough footage for #sgYouthsCare (@tjyouths) to last like a decade, I decided to leave the community club 2 hours earlier to nap. When I woke up, it was pouring and I was slightly behind time. Knowing that Oldman will be home, I decided to ring him up and ask for a ride to work while crossing my fingers that he's not napping. I could have just brave the rain and flag for a cab but because there were thunder, I wanted him by my side.

Went home, got into the showers and then arrange to meet Oldman and his brother at 7.30pm for..


Yeah... Budweiser Made for Music 2013 Singing Competition. Due to work, I missed out on alot of singing but beer is always better. Budweiser is so smooth that its almost like I was drinking water. You know that bitter taste nearing the finishing of a bottle? I hate that. I hate it when I get that last bit. However, with Budweiser, I didnt even want to waste any drop. I want my Budweiser now.


Before I start hallucinating having a beer in hand, I was excited to meet Val and PapaLow at the event. Then, because Mint was the host, I got even more excited that I am to meet my favourite homepal Ang! I havent seen her for nearly half a year? We always got so much to talk about, its like I need her with me all the time.

Sorry, PapaLow. I didnt mean to be late and make you wait!


 Valentine Low, daughter of PapaLow!


Mint on stage with the Budweisers.


Beer was free flow and we were told to "grab some Buds" at the bar. I hope no one got their butts grabbed though. Hur hur, unfunny. I remembered at one point I left the boys to chat with Ang and when I got back, the boys were carrying like at least 7 bottles of beer to the table. Note to self; only bring these few men to event with free flow beer . They cannot help you with the ad but they can entertain you.



Emman, Alex and Oldman - 3 real men because real men drink beer.



Left them for a while, see whats on the table?


Alex, Oldman's brother, was wearing shorts at first. I made him go back and change.


I dont know what happened but it just did.

So as I was saying I left the boys for a while and met Silver. I only knew her since Genting last year, but it felt as though I knew her for ages. So friendly, so pretty and I got a tummy full of love for this woman.




With Muttons



Must throw in more of her face else idk when will be the next time I see her.


Went to find Mint as well. I remember knowing Mint through her blog and she is the nicest ! Where got people send the item you win from her blog to your doorstep one? MINT. I didnt like see her for a few years - thought she forget me already- and at the Domino's event this year, she recognised me first and said Hi. Humble star, this woman. Love her to bits too!






"LIKE" Budweiser Singapore on Facebook 


老的, thank you for being my hero of the night - free ride, free entertainment and also for walking me back all the way to my doorstep! I dont remember if I embarrassed myself but if I did, you will live with it. I secretly think its damn awesome to be in my life because of the benefits one can get. Y'all come have free beer yet I am the one who was "working". Okay, after looking at the above picture again, I think I look very overly attached.


Except that it wasnt a guys night out.

****

Okay, to not end this entry abruptly. I shall tell you a story. So the men -all into sports- spotted someone huge in Singapore sports scene. They took a terrible photo with him when I wasnt around. By terrible I meant the photo didnt turn out good. Oldman came to me and asked if I could help them take a photo with him and I said sure. Why would I turn Oldman down anyway right...


Fanboy moment


I dont know/dont remember what they were doing but they take damn long lah to like get into position to take a photo with him. So I was like "Girls will be girls. Come, let us take a photo while waiting for them to get ready." And I did.



 Didnt turn out great because I didnt want the men to spot me stealing a shoot. 




Still not ready yet.


Finally ready but not satisfied.


till they do their "thing".

That pretty much summed up my entire weekend. Remember to -



"LIKE" Budweiser Singapore on 
Facebook 

Special thanks to : Issac Ritz for the invite. Valentine for waiting for me and being such a doll to my friends. Ang and Mint for being such darlings to me. The men for endless entertainment and being such a sport. Oldman for being him.