Of Habits and Addictions

Us in '13

**** I was with EK for many years and throughout these many years, it had been a bumpy roller coaster ride without any seat belts on. It was scary at times, however thrilling and fun. EK gradually became my comfort zone. When we speak about breakup, we spoke about finding what we had in another person. Conclusion has always been "Unlikely/Not possible".

EK is one who knows love. He is someone I could bare my soul to because he listens and knows what to say. He is someone I could bare my naked body to because he makes me feel beautiful. He is someone I could call whenever because he is there for me. He is a very special someone to me. No one would ever understand the chemistry we shared.

Soon, I got hooked.

Having EK in my life gave me a sense of security in life; when all else fails, EK would still be standing there smiling at me, lifting the world on his shoulders... just for me. He constantly gives in to my whines/rants/needs/wants. To be honest, despite his flaws, he tries his very best to give me the very best. That made me love him, flaws and all.

I always knew EK would eventually get sick of me. The 5 years was full of EK kept giving and I kept receiving. I didn't know how to express my love for EK via actions. I didnt know how to show that I care via actions. Emotionally, I was a broken doll. Our break up was inevitable. I've always saw it coming, but I thought if I held on longer, EK will get over the phase and we will still be happy together.

EK was someone who puts in a lot of effort. He cooked, he cleaned, he made sure to plant surprise snacks in my bag when I go off to work. He took care of me when I am sick, regardless how serious the illness was. He made sure I receive my favourite flowers every V'day. He gave in to my every wimp. He planted kisses on me every morning if I am still in bed. He wrote notes and placed them in my wallet (some of them are still in my wallet) randomly. He was overall sweet and I was demanding.

Our last one and a half year together, we tried different ways to get along. I tried to loosen up and allowed EK to fly as far away as he wants to, thinking that he will fly back home because he knows I am waiting for him. EK did flew home, but it wasn't till 6 in the morning. By 3 am, I was already picking a fight with him for him to come home qiuck. I guess, I couldn't do the whole open relationship thing.. 'cause I became needy.

I moved back to my Parental's, with EK's approval. However, once I was settled down/got used to sleeping alone, EK started to call me every night. He would call to ask what time to pick me up to go somewhere then stay over his place or he could just check on me, which I appreciated. Some nights if we hang, I would insist on going back to my parents', some nights I would give in. Soon, we were both very tired, mentally and physically.

One day, he told me he found someone he said he love and who loved him back the way I couldn't whilst on his nights out with his BFF. Meanwhile, I was trying to figure out this someone who I have an unspoken connection with whilst being miserable knowing EK and I were on the rocks. EK and I wouldn't grow old together anymore. We had reached our limits and it was really time to let go.

Letting go was the hardest part. Knowing that he had moved on and brought the girl home the very next day was devastating. I cried every 10 minutes, I wouldn't eat nor get out of bed, I didn't want to work and all I wanted to do was sleep.

I don't know when will the pain end. I've lost a boyfriend, lover, partner, best friend overnight. Its been quite a while now since the day I packed everything and left. Do I regret leaving him? No. I reckon the people you meet at the wrong time, is the wrong person. I will admit I am still in love with the EK I knew in 09, the EK I planned to grow old with, the EK I woke up to everyday. I am still grieving, and I will grieve all I want.

Allure Signature Eyebrow Embroidery Review 2.0

^Sponsored

You might like this review too: Eyelash Extensions

As though having good complexion for a bulk of my life wasn't blessing enough, last year September , Ang invited me to her Spa Party where I was blessed with eyebrow embroidery from the kind people at ALLURE BEAUTY SALON.

Didn't even need to use eyebrow pencil to fill in the blanks .

I was supposed to go back for a touch up session after a month but due to my busy schedule, I couldn't find any time to do so. Plus, the therapists at ALLURE were also jam packed ! 

I would prolly suck at being a beauty blogger 'cause it would be quite hectic to stuff services into my schedule but I wouldn't mind trying to be one as long as I get to be pretty. Okay, 2015, let SSL be blessed to be a beauty blog. Luckily, they didn't forget me and accommodated me even after nearly 6 months . 

Numbing cream on !

As you can tell my eyebrows were pretty unkept . Was the reason why I'm spotted with bangs. Why aren't my friends embarrassed at how "dirty" I am? Kidding, I wasn't just lazy. I didn't have the time . Maybe its time to learn how to do my own brows.

Checking me out

Making markings

Checking me out again

 Making markings again

So after nearly 6 months from the initial embroidery, the only touched up needed to do was to fill in the blanks that had faded off. To be honest, it wasn't a verse difference for/to me cause I naturally have nice brows , according to ALLURE. But, they are perfectionist.

 Before embroidery with the markings done.

During the embroidery process, I kinda look like a warrior princess.

If you feel that your numbing cream doesn't have any effect already, please tell the therapist! I didn't, just so I could feel how does it really feel like. As a person with super low threshold for pain (injections freak me out), it was bearable in comparison to a paper cut, which I can't even deal with.

Told you they professional perfectionist. At this stage, my therapist still wasn't satisfied... She checked and embroidered and checked and embroidered for a couple more times before telling me "Okay, 你可以走了."  (You can go now.)

Yah lah, no make up also can go out and see the world now 'cause my brows are pretty again. I purposely take photo with the advertisement behind. Anyone wants to try the Japanese 3D Eyelash Perming with me ? I obviously need to have lashes to match my brows.

Allure Beauty is located at -

West Mall

City Square Mall

Date A Girl Who Plays Dodgeball

Date a girl who knows how to avoid getting hurt during a nasty game of Dodgeball, a girl who knows how to nurse her own bruises if she ever does get injured, a girl who gives it her all and even when drenched in sweat, will give you the biggest hug after every game.

Date a girl who plays dodgeball because she understands the power of strength. She knows not to go alone, and will never let you go, alone. This girl has strong arm power, and has the ability to catch you when you fall. Date a girl who plays dodgeball because she doesn't mind letting you see her true self - decked in her old team jersey, unwashed knee pads, her pair of 1765 days old Nike she bought at a warehouse sale, no makeup, and messy hair.

Date a girl who plays dodgeball because she knows how to motivate. She will always be your cheerleader and your number 1 supporter. She smiles as she watches your every move because she is proud of you and believes that you are proud of her too. This girl is your lucky star.

If you date a girl who plays dodgeball, make sure you play too because this girl loves a challenge. She will definitely prefer to play against you than to play along side with you. Offer her a challenge - don't be afraid to catch her ball or throw her out of the game. She will never be mad at you for that.

Choose your dodger wisely. Not every girl who plays dodgeball is the right one to fall in love with. However, if you do find that girl who plays dodgeball, trust me, it will taste like 3 in 1 milo mix - simple, sweet, and seductive.

The amount of mindful fucks I give is

0. Zero. None. Kosong.

Usually I see myself having to handle people with low intelligence during the end of the year. In 2014, all was calm. I thought I broke the curse once and for all. Then came Jan 2015. 

But, there is a twist! Oh what fun.

What I've learnt is : Stupid people are nothing compared to those who are book smart but have no street cred to save themselves . Although no matter how advance technology is, there is no cure for stupidity . That we cannot blame. However, no matter how educated a person is (with degree / masters / phd from our local university), if they are not street smart, they also cannot learn how to be street smart from books ie. Study so much also no use . 

Difference between book smart and street smart : book smart reads books, street smart reads between the lines .

With that, here's my response .

Truth be told, I really don't give a rat's ass how you view me nor how you feel about me . I don't live for you neither do I feed on your abundance of love , if any.

I say what I want to say , do what I want to do, sit the way I want to sit, speak the way I want to speak, sleep whenever I want to sleep, pay no attention whenever I want to pay no attention. This is me being mindful of my personal desires.

Of course, I'm just pointing fingers at a handful of people on this social media platform . I am doing Publicity afterall. Where better to point my fingers at and how else better ? Being a keyboard warrior is the same as bitching behind someone's back, except I have a wider audience . 

For I am a thousand times bitchier. Here's what I would love to address.

1) Don't ask for committee's immediate approval if I am supposed be "smart" about it and ask to "take it offline", just because I asked too many questions as I am not book smart . Yes, there wasn't any need for me to understand because it's kinda NONE OF MY BUSINESS , but mind you, I am part of the committee . Therefore I can take an hour of the meeting to fully comprehend if needed to. I can't be and won't be nodding my head along rest due to time constraints. 

Also, I don't even think that's the correct term as we were offline =[

Then again, what do I know ? Y'all are the smartest ones !

2) I'm not sorry at all for not participating in the workshop . I've already said my apologizes to the one conducting and if i like to attend workshops, there are plenty provided by PA . 

Thing is I don't, especially if I am not interested in it.

3) I feel as thou I got trolled. Every time any of us organize events, we also produce a program. I don't see why you and you should be of any difference . However, the only information given to us was the venue and start&end timing . Whatever happened to the inbetween? I took the initiative to ask for the second day's plan so I can plan my own activities . I asked not just once, but three times to confirm. I even drop a text in the chatgroup and there wasn't any response . You and you who knows the exact timing or that there are changes should just reply and not have me blindly wait under the hot sun. I called upon reaching just to find out that y'all will be arriving an hour later . This caused a turbulence to my schedule . I had to make my way home instead . Time wasted. Money wasted . Above all, I could have a better planning of my own activities .

#FML

4) If you don't know, don't talk cock. Don't come and tell someone else saying dodgeball IG is unsustainable if I have to be there at every session. Like watering a water pipe ; it will not grow. 

(Actually, it will grow...grow rusty. LOL )

Will. Not. Grow ?!?!?!

So funny, it deserves two memes.

You must be kidding me. Because since the last we spoke , many things have change . I am truly disappointed in you. First of all, you don't even know how we run things , you don't even bother to find out . Secondly, you have never joined us in any session, in any events . Thirdly , honestly what have you done as a Sports Secretary? Perhaps you should do some mindful reflecting before saying mindless stuff .

I am only 67/90 on the mindful scale !

Someone asked me what is PAYM all about . I said a group of youths with the same ideology coming together to build a better community between communities . Apparently, I was lying through my teeth . I am very proud of what I've contributed thus far and feel that I've done my part to the fullest. There is only so much I can do yet I have definitely done so much more than the previous conveyor. 

You want successful and regular small scale events? Here's 4 since I took over.

Yes, I may refuse to participate in other activities that is of a bigger scale involving other committees, that doesn't mean I am a pushover . I am just not like most you. I don't find joy to be involved in other things . If you noticed me the way you notice other people, you will find that my talent lies within kids and they are who I love working with. 

Not everyone can handle 30 running kids at one time.

I maybe rude (and crude) in some of your eyes but that's because you fail to read between the lines. You fail to read tones and facial expressions. You fail at the streets. Therefore , take offense all you want , because 

This is how I will leave you

With a backbone.

With everything I had ever given to you in toll.

With a head full of silky smooth hair.

With my head held high.

With glittery eyes that shone like the moonlight.

With a radiant face that glows with Glory.

With a pocket filled with sunshine.

With God's grace.

Amen.

Allure Signature Eyebrow Embroidery Review

^Sponsored

I am no beauty blogger as most of you will know and heck, what do I really do about beauty when most of the days I look like this -

Well, I promise I used to look better - flawless skin, absence of double chin, no tissue in nose, etc. when I was younger.

Took me 3 hours to find an old photo without makeup, and without Koh. I look like shit but it was still good shit.

After 5 years with Koh, I don't feel pretty anymore. I gained so much weight over the course of the relationship and because of a change of lifestyle, my face broke out. Never in my 25 years of living, had I ever had pimples on my cheeks. Its always the forehead (whenever I cut bangs) or my chin (happens if I dont wash my mouth with water immediately after I eat. Dry or wet tissue doesnt work.) In fact, after the breakup, I was in a very dark place. I resented myself so much so I cry every waking moment.

Then, I picked myself up. I don't have market value because I told myself I dont have any. I dont have suitors because I stop putting myself out there. I needed to stop wallowing in self pity. I started to reconnect with friends and in order to feel good, I must look good. So I did what I dont ever do; put make up irregardless of where I am headed to.

Have I ever told you that it was one of my straight guy friends who told me what is a mascara and its uses when I was 19? I fail as a woman. Whenever I shop, Koh sometimes will randomly ask if I need any cosmetics. Before I could answer him, hes like "Iya, never mind. You also dont use one."

So I was saying, I dont know anything about beauty tips and tricks. I know how to apply makeup only because back in NAFA, it was one of my modules. Needless to say, I didnt do very well; was already counting blessings, thanking Him, and kowtowing to my lecturer for giving me a Pass, really.

2009, I had so much confident in myself. I guess now I realise how important skincare really is to a woman and how looking pretty makes one feel pretty as well. However, there is something missing. Something I never knew how to do even till today. I thank God for the presence of Ang in my life.

So this is me. This is me in August. I think I look pretty decent, but I am still lacking something.

Yup, STILL VERY CHIO IN MY OPINION. And boy, do I look good with white snowy brows!

I kid. Eyebrows make a person, to be very honest. I usually dont do my eyebrows unless I got them shaped by the kind Indian lady in Clementi who charges me 5$ every time I see her, because I dont know how to not overly do them or under do them. It's a skill I dont possess and I prolly will never ever possess.

Either way, here is me with some numbing cream. The gorgeous people at Allure Beauty Salon are the bomb. They were very patient and took me by the hand through every single procedure needed to give me my brows.

Even if I was giving her a death stare for telling me I have nice eyebrows. I have nice eyebrows because she was shaping it and designing something that will suit my face. These brow experts are personally handpicked and professionally trained therefore obviously I will have nice brows in her hands what, no?

This was just one side done. Brows really frame a person's face. A person without the right brows will definitely look untidy and less groomed. I indeed was a lost puppy.

So patient with me when the hiaoness in me came out and I wanted to just snap photos of my transformation every 5 minutes.

After brow expert was done messing with my brows, she will then ask if I am satisfied. WRONG PERSON TO ASK, TO BE HONEST. I had to get the rest (of the staff) to come over and fuss me like a princess. After alot of opinions (mostly saying how chio I am), this is how I would look like with brows on my face every day from today onwards.

In the utmost comfort and privacy for all treatments, you can come as a couple or with girlfriends or just #foreveralone to get pampered in their rooms. Allure Beauty Salon @ West Mall adds body treatments to their service menu so customers, like you and I, can revel in pampering services from top to toe!

Are you ready for the reveal?

Hi, want to date me? Pukecereal.jpeg No wonder Koh left me for someone else.

After I was all done with the embroidery. 

Here's my brow expert ! I thank you for giving life to my face.

One very happy girl.

I had no idea what I was in for, what a treat I was in for when Ang invited me to her spa day party. Perhaps Ang secretly feels that I dont have eyebrows and in dire need to get some else she wont hang out with me anymore. Anyone who knows me on a very personal level definitely knows that I am not one who will alter anything God has given me. However, having nicely drawn eyebrows every day is such a blessing.

But wait, the service doesnt stop here. My brow expert didnt just leave me hanging, not sure of how to take care of my eyebrows to keep them the way it is for as long as the embroidery ink last. Embroidery are not tattoos. I still do not have ink anywhere on my body.

With that, I give prize to these brow experts who helped find some confidence back in my life. Because of them, I finally have eyebrows and no one to make fun of me anymore. Because of them, I can throw away my eyebrow pencils.

We celebrated the new opening of Allure Beauty Salon @ West Mall with a bang! My first spa day party and it was so fun to be girly once in a while. Thank you, Ang. I love you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever. Okay, if you are curious who Ang is, you must be new here. Ang is the official Ambassador of Allure Beauty! Miss Silver Ang, whom alot of my friends want to get to know, embodies the true spirit of Allure Beauty because she is so talented, smart and beautiful.

Must por a bit, else she dont love me. Kidding.

Next day, I can so confidently walk out of my house without makeup, without contacts. My eyebrows so sex.

With makeup, look even more sex.

So I took a photo everyday to see if my eyebrows are still there.

Yup, they definitely are still around.

I look good even after 3 hours of dodgeball.

Nadiah and I yesterday. After a month, my eyebrows still damn sex.

I've stop donning on makeup, unless I know its going to be a nights out or I am meeting new people. Don't want to scare them with bare face just yet, however I do feel that I look okay without makeup too! Thanks to the people at Allure Beauty *flying kissesssss

Allure Beauty is located at -

Tiong Bahru Plaza

West Mall

City Square Mall

DONT WAIT ANY LONGER TO FIND YOUR PERFECT BROWS.