Bird's-eye View

Her eyes fixated on him. That man across the multipurpose hall, full of charm. He greeted them. Its never going happen, she thought to herself as she holds and cuddles the only sweetheart she had been with for many years. Its never going to happen, she assured herself once again. Subconsciously, she was stealing glances. Subconsciously, she was, stealing glances. Subconsciously.

The game started. She tried her best to remove his presence from the court. He smelt nice. No. No. He doesn't exist. No. No. He smelt nice. No. No. Get out of my head, she repeated in a rhythmic phrase. That's not the way to hold the ball, he offered her suggestion about the best course of action to her. Shut up, she bellowed in a loud but sharp way, jokingly. The whole hall could almost hear her despite the commotion surrounding the space. Was she rude? She doesn't care. All she wanted was for her heart to stop beating at an accelerated speed. For a moment there, the atmosphere was at a standstill. She reckoned she was going to have her breath cut off quickly and unexpectedly. She thought she was going to die.

Her heart should stop being such a Know-It-All.

It wasn't as though he wanted her as badly as she wanted him at first sight - oh, that charm, that winning beaming smile, that strand of hair that wouldn't go down. She watched as he got closer. Not to her. Her heart sunk as she held on tighter to her sweetheart, as though giving her support and strength. That man across the multipurpose hall, full of charm, planting a kiss on a long haired, shapely but ghastly looking.. son of a bitch! She was scarred by that image. That image that clouded her mind.



Her eyes still fixated on him, as she walked out of the hall with a swag. She couldn't resist his charms yet she couldn't get a second serving even if she tried. She didn't come back for awhile. She couldn't. She wouldn't. She shouldn't. I watched as she hid away her fondness for him, as she suppressed her want to shower him with affection, as she omitted her adoration of him, as she walked away with her bags, holding the hands of her only sweetheart she will regret being with for many years.

'tis the season to be around imbeciles

You read it right - Its that time of the year again where there are too many, for the lack of a better word, stupid people around me - almost like I am a disc shaped magnet for mindless dimwits. As if I have an abundance of patience to spend on these people, Santa saw the need to team me up with them to make sure I am on his "NICE" list. Story of my life.

While I do not expect many to see things my way, please dont expect me to also see it your way. Instead of shooting your mouth off as and when you please, use that thing you call a brain to consider your actions before acting on it. I don't think you honestly need anyone to advice you on how to function however, you are not the only who is tired/had a long day. Don't misuse that phrase.

Come the fuck on, woman. You are bloody 25, not 5.

Afterall, I am only human. There is only this much I can remember, this much I can say, this much I can do. You can have a million and one things to do, so can I. Everyone needs a little help and a little push to get things going on. My way of getting motivated works the fuck on me and I dont need you to pass judgements under your breath. You have a bloody issue with me, you bloody tell me. And when you finally found the balls to do so, spare yourself the humiliation and type it out in word.doc and make sure you "option+command+L" that shit first before opening your damn mouth.

Nah, I give you a festive ball to get your ball rolling

I knew for a fact that its highly unlikely for us to be able to work together but I tried. I've never held back so much in my life because of the level of respect I give to O. Today, if I hold on to anything more, future Celine will be cursing at me. I felt the need to unleash, I felt the need to tell you the things I tell you - while being "tactful", hoping that there is hope in you for me to gain your understanding.

To sum it up, it was a waste of time and effort. Judgements had already been passed on. There was no point in salvaging what was left. We cannot co exist therefore the ruining the chances of Santa climbing into my chimmey, eating the cookies I leave out for him and in return, he leaves me a present under the tree . Curse you, past Celine. You should have just suck it up, knowing that imbeciles can't talk reason.

"its a sad truth that not everyone can accept you being you". - Christina Lim, Nov 2013

Yes, my bad. These were silly mistakes I could have easily avoided should I have just listened to myself from the very start. Where has the old Celine gone to? Although I usually pass really quick judgements, but they were never wrong. It all begin when I was convinced that there is optimism in everyone for me to seek understanding from. Woe is me.

Bottomlne, not everyone works the same way and can overcome the differences in order to get things done at the end of the day. I think the most important part is to be mature about it and own up to mistakes. My mistakes, I reckon, were to have believed that there is good in people despite my first impression and its okay to give second chances to certain group of individuals. I shouldnt have trust myself to dive head in into a situation I already anticipate to be undesirable. I shouldnt have condone to people.

"Thee of utmost boredom in relentless finding of nothing to doeth should find something to doeth. Lest the dark of the nigh snatches your wake hours" - Christina Lim, Nov 2013. I secretly am amused at her especially when its 3 in the morning. The stuff she conjures up is.. mindblowing.

Either way, with a tummy full of displease, I am determine to make it right and prove some people wrong about their perception of me. I may not be the easiest person to work with but, i will make damn sure that its your sorry ass that they will be bitching about. Celine does not take things lying down without a fight. Celine goes to war.

Facades and PMS

Don't know why but I woke up this morning with a bout of insecurity. What I made it worse by was watching Catch Me If You Can and feeling sorry for Leonardo Dicarprio's character. (Andthenistartedcryingandshit) 

&then all this life issues started presenting itself to me. And I'm like fuck. Really ah? Magnifying problems that are tiny. Magnifying issues that are probably created in my head. And I sound so neurotic now........ 

And it's times like this that I should talk to someone and be able to share my thoughts with. I hate myself for times like this. Like all these are pointless and whatever thoughts I put into action is like even worse. Like I created a problem out of nowhere. 

Yes, I need help. But out of it all, I think I need encouragement and support the most. There will always come a time when I need to admit that I'm not perfect and I shouldn't expect it of myself and people around me. 

Okay. Maybe I'm just feeling Miley.

(Miley: craving for attention excessively)

Or maybe it's just my PMS. Hahaha

Signing off,

XT9A

Photoshop Failzzzz 10th

This might be the last installation for Photoshop Failz Segment. Things I can find on the Internet, I am sure you can too. Of course, when I started this segment, I thought it will be cool to have a platform where you can view a couple of entries of funny photos of photoshop failz (side bar) but I think its time to bring SSL to greater heights. Maybe, I can do a video failz entries. Thumb me and leave a comment which will you prefer !

P/S: i hate asking for comments because I know you will leave one if its necessary. But I really need to know what you as a reader would like to, like, read more about. I promise I wont bite!

Where's your brain at?

People tend to take things for granted. Consciously or subconsciously... as long as you take things for granted, you are shit. At a certain age, I will believe that you have gone through a fair share of like "being taken for granted" therefore there is no reason/excuse for you to not notice that you have/had taken something for granted. Not everything free that comes to you is what you deserve to be put in front of you.

Its like they live by this motto. 

Not sure if you are too poor or just too self centred. But sorry to burst your bubble, not everything revolves around your tiny weeny existence. Okay, I am not sorry. NOT. AT. ALL. Because from that moment, you are deem as a peck of dust - annoying and disgusting - in my life foreverrrr.

I mean seriously where do you really think the balls your team used for warm ups really come from? The organisers so nice to go and bring extra balls for you ah? The organisers not only book the venue, plan the event, arrange for prizes to be given out but also so fucking nice to like "HEY LETS BRING EXTRA BALLS FOR THE PLAYERS TO WARM UP!".

If I dont say this, I really cannot sleep tonight even with this (rant) entry up... YOU STUPID OR WHAT? YOU GOT BRAIN ONE OR NOT. IS YOUR BRAIN WORKING? THERE IS NO CURE FOR STUPIDITY YOU KNOW.

I mean if you dont know anything and you never been part of it, I understand. I will understand that you are ignorant, not deliberately trying to be a dumbass. But, thats not the case. Birds of the same feather flock together because your whole fucking team have no brain. Did a zombie apocalypse happened and I was unaware of it?

Because it seems like the zombies ate your brains!

Anyway, since we have already establish that you and your circle of teammates are brainless, it really makes me feel better and sincerely sorry. I mean, I think its really hard on y'all to be functioning without the most important organ. Life must be really tough on you therefore you find the need to take things for granted because you think you deserve it. I give it to you.

roll eyes to moon and back

However, next time, instead of blowing my top at my keyboard who is very innocent, I shall blow my top then and there. Its about time for y'all to find your brains and work it.

Yup, because I isnt got time for that.

You are quite lucky that oldman stepped in and stopped me from saying anything nasty to you because if you need someone to point out to how stupid your comments was given the fact that you were at the games earlier this year, I def got time for that. Secretly, I am a sadist. I enjoy telling people that they are less than below average.

Ahh, I feel so much better now thou I prolly cringe at the language used in this entry if I were to ever reread it. I prolly wont but I couldnt be bothered to phrase everything nicely with prim and proper english. Let's face it, you can understand meh?

Actually, this entry is not directed to a general You. Its really for a certain group of Yous who unfortunately exist in my life. Not in a very significant way thou but I have to have a conversation with them somehow, at least once a month. Sucks to be me.

Is it THAT bad?

I tend to overthink. Excessively overthink. As if the word "over" is not enough. I blame it on the eagerness to grow up. To prove a point. To be sensible. But I think beneath it all, I am just an empty shell.

I overthink because I feel the need to. I dont like assuming because I dont like to make an ass out of myself.

I overthink because I think its for the best. Its for the best because I felt the need to. I felt the need to because I dont like assuming. I dont like assuming because I dont like to be made an ass.

I overthink because I should. I should because its for the best. Its for the best because I felt the need to. I felt the need to because I dont like assuming. I dont like assuming because I dont like to be the ass.

I overthink because I know there is some kind of logic behind it. I just need to find it because I should. I should because its for the best. Its for the best because I felt the need to. I felt the need to because I dont like assuming. I dont like assuming because its a pain in the ass.

Perhaps, I need to tone it down a little. Perhaps, I am just overthinking the overthinking.

Let's just sidebar

There had been too much sadness in this space. Too much hating. Too much tears. Too much of nothing. I am such a gloomy soul that I had banished all the buoyant in me and joined the army of dejected fools. No, I kid. Christina Lim will prolly smack my ass real hard and drag me by the toe, putting me back on track. So, here I am, bearing some joyous news that happened in my life the past months.

First of all, I started dating this wonderful, athletic stud muffin for about three months now. You would prolly have known if you follow me on instagram (@robotgranny). Despite the decade age difference (which was one of my main concerns), we found ways to communicate and to agree to disagree on certain issues - none that are really major at this point of entry. Sure, not everyday is easy peasy lemon squeezy because I am not the easiest person to get along with and he prolly had already attained deity for all the random and temperamental mood swings/princess fits he had been putting up with. Wow, I just made myself sound like the worst person ever. I applaud him because there was no need for him to do so, but he did.

Conundrum, I call myself. Conundrum.

老的 Lǎo de 's patience for me is astounding and every single bone in me just want to do all the nicest things for him because ...just because. One day, I cooked. Yes, I cooked. I never had to do so because Koh likes cooking and I hate cooking. He likes putting food on my plate, he likes watching me eat while I like to see my plate filled with food and I like to eat. We had a really good food thing going on. Now, that we've broken up, I miss all the abalone congee I will get to eat when I am sick =(

I had the shortest time frame ever to cook congee because 老的 was coming down with flu and I had to meet my friends by 2030h. I knew he won't have anything nutritious to eat before popping his pills, but despite the need to get ready for a night out with my friends at the launch of Fashion TV club, the urge to cook for 老的 was very very strong.

Very very very strong.

With the help of my wonderful housekeeper, I managed to surprise him under his block with a Tupperware of piping hot chicken and century egg congee. We are both cantonese (YAY!) so I assumed that was the go-to congee. The perks of having someone special staying only 6 blocks away, you get to see him whenever you want and need. Of course, sometimes, the term "so near, yet so far" applies as well.

shamelessly throw in a random photo of me

Its only been a while. We are at what people call the "honeymoon period" although we are not together officially but things have been going rather smoothly and I've got a good feeling about this. Then again, its only human to err.

****
Moving on, Chris and I tagged along with Issac and Val for the launch of Fashion TV club.

With IssacRitz. Thanks for the invite, sweetie.

My homegirl, Chris Lim.

Principal with principles Val Low

New found friend, Zul

Group photo together with Michelle Fei and beau.

Yes, I've notice how much I've balloon-ed.

If you, like me, havent gone to Clark Quay for a while, please do. Fashion TV club has two rooms - Hiphop and Progressive House - and its nicely located next to Rasputin Restaurant. Grab a bite there and then party your night at Fashion TV club.

Best thing is, they have their own line of events and drinks. The whole idea of the club is so refreshing and creative. It kinda reminded me of Route66 in Bangkok, only prettier.

P/s: the taxi stand is so near, you can afford to drink to your fill and still grab a cab home safely.

****
Before you think I am all party and nothing good ever happens when with me, you are dead wrong. Some of you might remember what I do for a living. What I do for a living is very noble and I salute myself for the amount of patience and love I have for the humans I work with. I am jus so easily attached, it drives me nuts!

There is some good in me. I like to imagine that and I know actions speaks louder than words, and a picture speaks a thousand words. Therefore, believe it or not, ..

 Head of People's Association photobomb-ed me when the purpose of this photo was for me to photobomb him.

I volunteer.

Yes, yes, I do. I am the Publicity and New Media Secretary for Taman Jurong Community Club Youth Executive Committee (TJCC YEC). This is my second term (every term last for 2 years) and I dont brag about the things I've done because what I've done is just to sit at home, design banners and posters or creating buzz for our upcoming events behind the (computer) screen. Nothing noble,  really and I try to avoid being seen because I feel that I have an image to uphold.

Even Boon Lay CC YEC was shocked to see me as a PAYM Legatus (just fancy word for Ambassador) for #SGYouthsCare. "CELINE? YOU ARE HERE? VOLUNTEERING???" - was the response I got -.-

Eric and I put our smiles on!

As a Legatus, we are supposed to snap photos and upload them on instagram (@TJYOUTHS). In a way, I guess this is a way to cover news? Almost like a reporter. Almost.

I never seen such thing before other than in circus. Apparently its like street workout so no gym required. If you happen to live in Canberra, Sembawang, Singapore, you are in luck! They are one of the Youth Chapters. Please go check it out. The oldest guy is like 43??! Amazing.

****
Right, I've come to the last good news of the entry. *drums roll*

I passed. I dont know what's my result is still but I didnt receive any SMS for a retest. Therefore you are readiing an entry, written by a girl by the name of Celine who can sign! Not excessively but hey, I am done with Intermediate Stage. The next and last stage is Advance, which I doubt I'd be continuing.

As much as I enjoy signing, there is no point and no one to practise with. I might just end up forgetting whatever I've learnt. I've forgotten all the Japanese I've learn when I was 14. I got a Intermediate Certificate for that too.

Oh well, life is such.

Cheers to mid week!

Cory Monteith ..and death

While I am sure I will end up not making any sense in this blog entry, I have to have my two cents worth voiced out. Sure, its been months and come on, just let him rest in peace. However, really? Is there really a need to feel sorry for Lea or for Cory? Because he's young and she's innocent yet she lost her partner. Okay, granted you may feel sorry for Lea for losing someone so dear to her suddenly. In that case, you should feel sorry for everyone out there who lost their loved ones as well. Not just for Lea, Cory's family and the cast of Glee.

In my honest opinion, Cory brought it upon himself.

That dude was decent enough to admit his addiction and checked himself into a rehab with the support of so many people who loved him dearly. Kudos and applause for him from the bottom of my heart. But then why do you ended up overdosed in a hotel room, knowing that you have a problem? I mean, you know you have a problem and you have completed your treatment, why oh why did you not have self control?

There is no point questioning the dead, of course. He wont answer me and I wont get my questions answered. But, am I the only one who saw his death as "you, Cory, brought it upon yourself." There is really no one else to blame but him. I didnt mourn his death and I didnt cry (till the last part) of the Glee episode "The Quarterback" that paid tribute to him via the death of his Glee character, Finn. I cried seeing how sad Lea was when she said she is afraid one day she will forget how he looked and sounded like. And, I dont like Lea.

I talk to him a lot. I can still see his face and I can hear his voice so clearly. Do you think that I'll ever forget? Because I'm afraid that one day I will. Rachel - See more at: http://www.tvfanatic.com/quotes/shows/glee/episodes/the-quarterback/#sthash.tJtVpoHv.dpuf

Therefore coming from me, it means something.

Let's look at Michael Jackson. His death was also uncalled for but the Lord called him back. His cause of death was intoxication. But did he bring it upon himself? No. He didnt ask for it; he didnt fly high like paper and get high like planes. Bitch please, he might not have even enjoyed himself before he breathe his last breath. But comparing Michael to Cory is just demeaning. Your argument is invalid.

Yes yes, there is a special place in hell for people like me. I've succumb to that. Now now, lets all move on and get over Cory's untimely death. Needed an excuse to post a #selfie.

Gone for too long

HERRO.

I know you miss my awesomeness and I will accept all denials. muahaha.

It has been a long while cause lao niang aka I has been very busy with my mid-semester tests, presentations, assignments and all that nonsense that school has it requirements of me. Pfft. I know I will miss my schooling life for sure but... having a kinda plan to look forward to is also eggciting y'know!

Life has its ups and downs. Had my fair bit of downs recently and it took a lot for me to actually take courage and admit that I'm actually at fault. (yes I know, me?! haha. ya la. I admitted I had fault la) So, it was quite a time of change and growing up for me. On a brighter note, I ish very proud of my test results although I wish it could be better... asiandad.jpeg to be inserted here. And SSL girls attended a few events that we have yet to share with you guys! ERMAGHERDDDDDD.



SO!
Stay tune. Read us. LOVE us. Share our rambles.


Signing off
XT9A


P.S. I have a great deal on my next post. Like shopping, savings. WHAT'S THERE TO HATE?