'tis the season to be around imbeciles

You read it right - Its that time of the year again where there are too many, for the lack of a better word, stupid people around me - almost like I am a disc shaped magnet for mindless dimwits. As if I have an abundance of patience to spend on these people, Santa saw the need to team me up with them to make sure I am on his "NICE" list. Story of my life.

While I do not expect many to see things my way, please dont expect me to also see it your way. Instead of shooting your mouth off as and when you please, use that thing you call a brain to consider your actions before acting on it. I don't think you honestly need anyone to advice you on how to function however, you are not the only who is tired/had a long day. Don't misuse that phrase.

Come the fuck on, woman. You are bloody 25, not 5.

Afterall, I am only human. There is only this much I can remember, this much I can say, this much I can do. You can have a million and one things to do, so can I. Everyone needs a little help and a little push to get things going on. My way of getting motivated works the fuck on me and I dont need you to pass judgements under your breath. You have a bloody issue with me, you bloody tell me. And when you finally found the balls to do so, spare yourself the humiliation and type it out in word.doc and make sure you "option+command+L" that shit first before opening your damn mouth.

Nah, I give you a festive ball to get your ball rolling

I knew for a fact that its highly unlikely for us to be able to work together but I tried. I've never held back so much in my life because of the level of respect I give to O. Today, if I hold on to anything more, future Celine will be cursing at me. I felt the need to unleash, I felt the need to tell you the things I tell you - while being "tactful", hoping that there is hope in you for me to gain your understanding.

To sum it up, it was a waste of time and effort. Judgements had already been passed on. There was no point in salvaging what was left. We cannot co exist therefore the ruining the chances of Santa climbing into my chimmey, eating the cookies I leave out for him and in return, he leaves me a present under the tree . Curse you, past Celine. You should have just suck it up, knowing that imbeciles can't talk reason.

"its a sad truth that not everyone can accept you being you". - Christina Lim, Nov 2013

Yes, my bad. These were silly mistakes I could have easily avoided should I have just listened to myself from the very start. Where has the old Celine gone to? Although I usually pass really quick judgements, but they were never wrong. It all begin when I was convinced that there is optimism in everyone for me to seek understanding from. Woe is me.

Bottomlne, not everyone works the same way and can overcome the differences in order to get things done at the end of the day. I think the most important part is to be mature about it and own up to mistakes. My mistakes, I reckon, were to have believed that there is good in people despite my first impression and its okay to give second chances to certain group of individuals. I shouldnt have trust myself to dive head in into a situation I already anticipate to be undesirable. I shouldnt have condone to people.

"Thee of utmost boredom in relentless finding of nothing to doeth should find something to doeth. Lest the dark of the nigh snatches your wake hours" - Christina Lim, Nov 2013. I secretly am amused at her especially when its 3 in the morning. The stuff she conjures up is.. mindblowing.

Either way, with a tummy full of displease, I am determine to make it right and prove some people wrong about their perception of me. I may not be the easiest person to work with but, i will make damn sure that its your sorry ass that they will be bitching about. Celine does not take things lying down without a fight. Celine goes to war.

Is it THAT bad?

I tend to overthink. Excessively overthink. As if the word "over" is not enough. I blame it on the eagerness to grow up. To prove a point. To be sensible. But I think beneath it all, I am just an empty shell.

I overthink because I feel the need to. I dont like assuming because I dont like to make an ass out of myself.

I overthink because I think its for the best. Its for the best because I felt the need to. I felt the need to because I dont like assuming. I dont like assuming because I dont like to be made an ass.

I overthink because I should. I should because its for the best. Its for the best because I felt the need to. I felt the need to because I dont like assuming. I dont like assuming because I dont like to be the ass.

I overthink because I know there is some kind of logic behind it. I just need to find it because I should. I should because its for the best. Its for the best because I felt the need to. I felt the need to because I dont like assuming. I dont like assuming because its a pain in the ass.

Perhaps, I need to tone it down a little. Perhaps, I am just overthinking the overthinking.

Let's just sidebar

There had been too much sadness in this space. Too much hating. Too much tears. Too much of nothing. I am such a gloomy soul that I had banished all the buoyant in me and joined the army of dejected fools. No, I kid. Christina Lim will prolly smack my ass real hard and drag me by the toe, putting me back on track. So, here I am, bearing some joyous news that happened in my life the past months.

First of all, I started dating this wonderful, athletic stud muffin for about three months now. You would prolly have known if you follow me on instagram (@robotgranny). Despite the decade age difference (which was one of my main concerns), we found ways to communicate and to agree to disagree on certain issues - none that are really major at this point of entry. Sure, not everyday is easy peasy lemon squeezy because I am not the easiest person to get along with and he prolly had already attained deity for all the random and temperamental mood swings/princess fits he had been putting up with. Wow, I just made myself sound like the worst person ever. I applaud him because there was no need for him to do so, but he did.

Conundrum, I call myself. Conundrum.

老的 Lǎo de 's patience for me is astounding and every single bone in me just want to do all the nicest things for him because ...just because. One day, I cooked. Yes, I cooked. I never had to do so because Koh likes cooking and I hate cooking. He likes putting food on my plate, he likes watching me eat while I like to see my plate filled with food and I like to eat. We had a really good food thing going on. Now, that we've broken up, I miss all the abalone congee I will get to eat when I am sick =(

I had the shortest time frame ever to cook congee because 老的 was coming down with flu and I had to meet my friends by 2030h. I knew he won't have anything nutritious to eat before popping his pills, but despite the need to get ready for a night out with my friends at the launch of Fashion TV club, the urge to cook for 老的 was very very strong.

Very very very strong.

With the help of my wonderful housekeeper, I managed to surprise him under his block with a Tupperware of piping hot chicken and century egg congee. We are both cantonese (YAY!) so I assumed that was the go-to congee. The perks of having someone special staying only 6 blocks away, you get to see him whenever you want and need. Of course, sometimes, the term "so near, yet so far" applies as well.

shamelessly throw in a random photo of me

Its only been a while. We are at what people call the "honeymoon period" although we are not together officially but things have been going rather smoothly and I've got a good feeling about this. Then again, its only human to err.

****
Moving on, Chris and I tagged along with Issac and Val for the launch of Fashion TV club.

With IssacRitz. Thanks for the invite, sweetie.

My homegirl, Chris Lim.

Principal with principles Val Low

New found friend, Zul

Group photo together with Michelle Fei and beau.

Yes, I've notice how much I've balloon-ed.

If you, like me, havent gone to Clark Quay for a while, please do. Fashion TV club has two rooms - Hiphop and Progressive House - and its nicely located next to Rasputin Restaurant. Grab a bite there and then party your night at Fashion TV club.

Best thing is, they have their own line of events and drinks. The whole idea of the club is so refreshing and creative. It kinda reminded me of Route66 in Bangkok, only prettier.

P/s: the taxi stand is so near, you can afford to drink to your fill and still grab a cab home safely.

****
Before you think I am all party and nothing good ever happens when with me, you are dead wrong. Some of you might remember what I do for a living. What I do for a living is very noble and I salute myself for the amount of patience and love I have for the humans I work with. I am jus so easily attached, it drives me nuts!

There is some good in me. I like to imagine that and I know actions speaks louder than words, and a picture speaks a thousand words. Therefore, believe it or not, ..

 Head of People's Association photobomb-ed me when the purpose of this photo was for me to photobomb him.

I volunteer.

Yes, yes, I do. I am the Publicity and New Media Secretary for Taman Jurong Community Club Youth Executive Committee (TJCC YEC). This is my second term (every term last for 2 years) and I dont brag about the things I've done because what I've done is just to sit at home, design banners and posters or creating buzz for our upcoming events behind the (computer) screen. Nothing noble,  really and I try to avoid being seen because I feel that I have an image to uphold.

Even Boon Lay CC YEC was shocked to see me as a PAYM Legatus (just fancy word for Ambassador) for #SGYouthsCare. "CELINE? YOU ARE HERE? VOLUNTEERING???" - was the response I got -.-

Eric and I put our smiles on!

As a Legatus, we are supposed to snap photos and upload them on instagram (@TJYOUTHS). In a way, I guess this is a way to cover news? Almost like a reporter. Almost.

I never seen such thing before other than in circus. Apparently its like street workout so no gym required. If you happen to live in Canberra, Sembawang, Singapore, you are in luck! They are one of the Youth Chapters. Please go check it out. The oldest guy is like 43??! Amazing.

****
Right, I've come to the last good news of the entry. *drums roll*

I passed. I dont know what's my result is still but I didnt receive any SMS for a retest. Therefore you are readiing an entry, written by a girl by the name of Celine who can sign! Not excessively but hey, I am done with Intermediate Stage. The next and last stage is Advance, which I doubt I'd be continuing.

As much as I enjoy signing, there is no point and no one to practise with. I might just end up forgetting whatever I've learnt. I've forgotten all the Japanese I've learn when I was 14. I got a Intermediate Certificate for that too.

Oh well, life is such.

Cheers to mid week!

Cory Monteith ..and death

While I am sure I will end up not making any sense in this blog entry, I have to have my two cents worth voiced out. Sure, its been months and come on, just let him rest in peace. However, really? Is there really a need to feel sorry for Lea or for Cory? Because he's young and she's innocent yet she lost her partner. Okay, granted you may feel sorry for Lea for losing someone so dear to her suddenly. In that case, you should feel sorry for everyone out there who lost their loved ones as well. Not just for Lea, Cory's family and the cast of Glee.

In my honest opinion, Cory brought it upon himself.

That dude was decent enough to admit his addiction and checked himself into a rehab with the support of so many people who loved him dearly. Kudos and applause for him from the bottom of my heart. But then why do you ended up overdosed in a hotel room, knowing that you have a problem? I mean, you know you have a problem and you have completed your treatment, why oh why did you not have self control?

There is no point questioning the dead, of course. He wont answer me and I wont get my questions answered. But, am I the only one who saw his death as "you, Cory, brought it upon yourself." There is really no one else to blame but him. I didnt mourn his death and I didnt cry (till the last part) of the Glee episode "The Quarterback" that paid tribute to him via the death of his Glee character, Finn. I cried seeing how sad Lea was when she said she is afraid one day she will forget how he looked and sounded like. And, I dont like Lea.

I talk to him a lot. I can still see his face and I can hear his voice so clearly. Do you think that I'll ever forget? Because I'm afraid that one day I will. Rachel - See more at: http://www.tvfanatic.com/quotes/shows/glee/episodes/the-quarterback/#sthash.tJtVpoHv.dpuf

Therefore coming from me, it means something.

Let's look at Michael Jackson. His death was also uncalled for but the Lord called him back. His cause of death was intoxication. But did he bring it upon himself? No. He didnt ask for it; he didnt fly high like paper and get high like planes. Bitch please, he might not have even enjoyed himself before he breathe his last breath. But comparing Michael to Cory is just demeaning. Your argument is invalid.

Yes yes, there is a special place in hell for people like me. I've succumb to that. Now now, lets all move on and get over Cory's untimely death. Needed an excuse to post a #selfie.

The other day at MBS Skypark

Singapore look so pretty from way up here. Everything looks like a scene from Sims. Almost like I can uproot and shift it around anywhere I like. View is so breathtaking I of course got to snap snap snap!

Spot the floating platform!

ArtScience Museum looks like a giant claw.

Sun.

Highway.

SG Flyer and East of +65.

Clear blue sky.

Marina Bay - Gardens by the bay.

Water.

Clouds.

Big thank you and warm kisses to my cousin, Ernest for hooking us up on his off day and using his staff card for a whopping 25% discount. I think we paid like 12$ each for finger food and beer. What up.

Cousins and siblings. Missing 2 girls who are taking their Os this year. Good luck, sweeties.

Brosters for life, yo. Thanks for watching me grow and taking money from me every month ever since I started working. I know yall never ask for it but as the eldest how can I watch y'all broke before end of the month and not lend a hand? Thank you for still calling me "Jie" even though y'all are big boys now and most of our peers have started calling their siblings by their names. Don't y'all ever change. I love y'all the way y'all are.

Ending this entry abruptly - fat boy is fat. Look at his face!

Just go je

Before, I was contented. Easily contented. Then I asked for the world. I ask for it to see it my way. After years, I came to a realisation that the world is round, I should be the one looking it at. There was so much to see and do but I was stuck with one view.

The decision to take a leap year from school that ended up to be 3 years was because I was blind. Blinded by what could have or should have been. I wasted time and youth.

If I wasn't what I was, I would have already been a degree holder and getting what I want within hands reach. However I couldn't get to you. I couldn't get inside your mind.

Sorry that this has all been a wasted trip to the moon and back. I apologise if I kept you on the hook or left you hanging. Mark my words, I will always be there for you rain or shine because that's what I think you would do for me too.

Should have, would have, could have.

On an annoying note, I ended work at 6pm today only to reach home close to 8pm. Now at 9.30, after a shower and some rest, Imma gonna have my dinner now. Things are different but I am getting used to it. We will go thru this. You and I both on our separate ways.

Write my life

Recently I came to a conclusion that I have selective memory. I mainly remember the good that had happened and how upset I was at people. Ask me about my childhood, I surely can tell you the funny. Once, when I was barely 3, I was on a carousel with my mother, I hit a boy on his hand because he was trying to steer the wheel. It was a teenage boy. I even gave him a death stare.

I've never been hit by a child/kid while on a ride before. Not even sure why I did that. I was just selfish. I wanted the wheel all to myself. I am not sure if he was on a date with a girl then but if he was, my bad.

That aside, that will be the only story I can remember about my childhood. I have photos of me dressing my 2 year old brother in a skirt but I never remember how or why it happen. Its not like I didnt know he wasnt a girl... or because he prefers playing my barbie dolls.

Moving along, I went to a childcare.Only memory I have is my teacher waking me up from a wonderful nap because my parents are here... not to pick me up but to celebrate my birthday. Thank you, parents for making me serve my friends on my birthday. That explains why the photos turn out bad and ugly. I had such a sour face on.

And oh, also my teacher brought me out to buy bao one day because I couldnt get to sleep.

As years pass, I've no memory of anything else, I shifted from Serangoon to Jurong. My downstairs neighbour was my best friend and before I left, I told her that we will be best friends forever. Her mum was all like but you are moving.. and yes, her mum was right. For the life of me, I cant remember her face.. or her name. I moved in June.. I didnt have a class photo for graduating Kindergarten. I remember being sad about it. Which is also why I didnt smile when taking my solo graduation photo. Even my power ranger watch was broken. Wait, maybe it was because all the other kids had their photo taken already and were off at the playground playing while I was stuck in a oversize grown. FUCK.

Jurong.... first memory? Being lost. I couldnt find my way around. I couldnt find my helper who was supposed to pick me up at the usual spot but my grandmother came instead and she reprimanded me for not waiting outside the classroom and she had to find me. I even hated the playground.

I didnt make any genuine friends till about primary school. I finally had friends living in the same block. I even told a guy I want to have big breast when I grow up. HAHAHAHAHAHA! It was short lived as we move on to secondary school. Everyone went to a better school. I didnt have an expectation of myself. My parents didnt have any expectations other than "do your best". We are not as Asian as we like to think we are.

My primary school friends always remind me of who bullied me in school and what ive done to revenge or how ive cried. But, I have no recollection of it. They tell me what I said to caused the reaction of others but still, no memory of it. I only remember how everyone laughed at an essay Doug did and I didnt know whats so funny till the teacher explained the joke.

I was such a loser.

Secondary school came and gone. I still got bullied but I forgot how and why. I remember meeting my best friend on a bus when I was 14. I remember meeting Koh when I was 20. And in future, I hope I remember how I got hitched, pregnant and remember my children for the rest of my life. Life hasnt straighten out for me. But, I know I will get there.

Agnes B because I can.



I've always been a fan of surprises. And a fan of gifts. Anything free and works is good for me. I am not expensive to maintain although I eat alot but I can never spend more than 100$ on an item for myself. My most expensive item found on myself must have been either a hand me down or it belongs to Koh.

Then one day, I decided I need a new wallet. I sourced and I found one pretty one (okay, I didnt found it. Intan told me to google and I did).

Yes, I wanted this. So pretty. The bow. The colour. I am in love with you, Prada Saffiano Wallet with Bow. Its retailing in SG for about 800$? That is 7 whole months worth of wanton noodles. I gave my "flying" friends the photo and told them to get this for me in Paris if its less than 500$SG. Even 500$SG is expensive. Idk what is wrong with me but its realllllly pretty!

But all is not lost! I walked around Isetan Wisma and Taka and fell in love with another wallet. It will cost me nearly 500$. There was no way I was going to get it without consideration. And I have half the heart to get the DKNY wallet that cost 190$.

That DKNY envelope wallet. It has just the right number of card pockets I need and a slot to put photo just the way I like. Its not real leather therefore the price therefore Koh said its not worth it. Plus Intan got the green one a few days before.

Pardon the morning bed head. Had a bag delivered to me.

Oh dear lord. Is it what I think it is? Ive never receive anything like this before.

YESSSSAAAAAA.  Now it is in the colour I wanted....

Royal Purple. The other colour is red. I couldnt mind any of the two colours actually. Red is my favourite colour while purple is really unique. 

I am a very proud owner of a very expensive Agnes B wallet. I dont have to eat grass for the next few months but I do feel the pinch. And just so you know, I made the whole entry up about being surprised.