Of Habits and Addictions

Us in '13

**** I was with EK for many years and throughout these many years, it had been a bumpy roller coaster ride without any seat belts on. It was scary at times, however thrilling and fun. EK gradually became my comfort zone. When we speak about breakup, we spoke about finding what we had in another person. Conclusion has always been "Unlikely/Not possible".

EK is one who knows love. He is someone I could bare my soul to because he listens and knows what to say. He is someone I could bare my naked body to because he makes me feel beautiful. He is someone I could call whenever because he is there for me. He is a very special someone to me. No one would ever understand the chemistry we shared.

Soon, I got hooked.

Having EK in my life gave me a sense of security in life; when all else fails, EK would still be standing there smiling at me, lifting the world on his shoulders... just for me. He constantly gives in to my whines/rants/needs/wants. To be honest, despite his flaws, he tries his very best to give me the very best. That made me love him, flaws and all.

I always knew EK would eventually get sick of me. The 5 years was full of EK kept giving and I kept receiving. I didn't know how to express my love for EK via actions. I didnt know how to show that I care via actions. Emotionally, I was a broken doll. Our break up was inevitable. I've always saw it coming, but I thought if I held on longer, EK will get over the phase and we will still be happy together.

EK was someone who puts in a lot of effort. He cooked, he cleaned, he made sure to plant surprise snacks in my bag when I go off to work. He took care of me when I am sick, regardless how serious the illness was. He made sure I receive my favourite flowers every V'day. He gave in to my every wimp. He planted kisses on me every morning if I am still in bed. He wrote notes and placed them in my wallet (some of them are still in my wallet) randomly. He was overall sweet and I was demanding.

Our last one and a half year together, we tried different ways to get along. I tried to loosen up and allowed EK to fly as far away as he wants to, thinking that he will fly back home because he knows I am waiting for him. EK did flew home, but it wasn't till 6 in the morning. By 3 am, I was already picking a fight with him for him to come home qiuck. I guess, I couldn't do the whole open relationship thing.. 'cause I became needy.

I moved back to my Parental's, with EK's approval. However, once I was settled down/got used to sleeping alone, EK started to call me every night. He would call to ask what time to pick me up to go somewhere then stay over his place or he could just check on me, which I appreciated. Some nights if we hang, I would insist on going back to my parents', some nights I would give in. Soon, we were both very tired, mentally and physically.

One day, he told me he found someone he said he love and who loved him back the way I couldn't whilst on his nights out with his BFF. Meanwhile, I was trying to figure out this someone who I have an unspoken connection with whilst being miserable knowing EK and I were on the rocks. EK and I wouldn't grow old together anymore. We had reached our limits and it was really time to let go.

Letting go was the hardest part. Knowing that he had moved on and brought the girl home the very next day was devastating. I cried every 10 minutes, I wouldn't eat nor get out of bed, I didn't want to work and all I wanted to do was sleep.

I don't know when will the pain end. I've lost a boyfriend, lover, partner, best friend overnight. Its been quite a while now since the day I packed everything and left. Do I regret leaving him? No. I reckon the people you meet at the wrong time, is the wrong person. I will admit I am still in love with the EK I knew in 09, the EK I planned to grow old with, the EK I woke up to everyday. I am still grieving, and I will grieve all I want.

Thug life

Found a huge ass pimple above my lips the night after I published my dummies' guide to skincare routine . Why like that why. 

A Dummies' Guide to Skincare Routine (with photos)

It took me a few years but it's never too late to start on a routine . I never knew what comes first , I can never remember what comes first. Do I cleanse, moisturize then tone or tone first then moisturize? In order to aid me (and my goldfish memory), my friends had to write numbers down on the bottles ...but I can still forget.

It wasn't until the complexion went haywire that I put in effort to remember ! Guess it takes a "crisis" to get me started .

I haven't post something in awhile and I refuse to only post angry stuff this year . I need to be zen and calm my tits down. But I've nothing to blog about . So.... Here's an amateur's guide to a skincare routine: 

Hi, here's me. With makeup at 1 in the morning .

Here's me. Without makeup and after I finished my skincare routine at 1.50am on the same day. Is it me or is the photo not focus =/

I think got no difference because iPhone 5S front camera not as zai as iPhone 6. However I'm sure I look slightly radiant ? Self praise is definitely no praise at all. Ya ya ya, it's my post, not yours . So praise the Lord that my complexion is better than this :

credits here 

So I ran out of my Biore makeup remover wipes. I found this in my drawer, checked and it wasn't expired ! Scored. 

NO MORE THIS ONE SO I ANYHOW USE SOMETHING ELSE .

Its texture is like a piece of wet tissue and it removes my makeup with a very light swipe . Then again, I don't put on getai makeup therefore my argument is invalid.

Makeup removed! Cannot even see the makeup on the wipes . But hello, I'm barefaced on the Internet. Whadduppppp!

Another photo of me without makeup 'cause wo shuang . 

Side by side compare ; left makeup right no makeup . This is why it's a dummies' guide . I'm such a bad selfie taker *insertsadface

Moving on. I use my mum's facial wash 'cause I'm lazy. Lazy to buy my own. Lazy to try which is better for my skin but ...

It brightens my face ! Every time I step out of the shower I am in awe! I love the rosy cheeks I have on although I'm not sure if it's because of the steam from the hot water .

Okay, so I tone. XT9A intro this to me . I loved the smell so despite the fact I don't see an improvement to my skin, I'm still using it. I mean, I still got more than half a bottle !

Tone tone tone upwards ! I wish I can tone my arms at the same time so it won't be so flabby . 

Kohs mum used this as well and this bottle was given to me by her before the breakup. I love using this ! Makes my face feels so bouncy and white . Maybe because I am Asian... we like being fair skinned.

Put every where ! 

 

Let's moisturize in circular motion ! Let the skin adorb the goodness! 

There you go ! All done. Cleanse. Tone. Moisturize . I am so in love with how I look after I finish doing my skincare routine. More radiant. Fairer. And clean.

Before and after . However I know I should improve on ALOT more. I'm still finding my way and hopefully you would drop a comment / advice or two to help me improve my skin condition ! 

Next up, how I put my daily makeup ! 

P/s : NO EDITS WERE DONE TO ANY OF THE PHOTOS. 

I'm bidding goodbye

Not to this space. But, to the nightlife.

These are some of the best nights ever.. I never wake up regretting the night before. But, its time to grow up and be an adult minus the late nights. 2015, come at me bro.

Allure Signature Eyebrow Embroidery Review 2.0

^Sponsored

You might like this review too: Eyelash Extensions

As though having good complexion for a bulk of my life wasn't blessing enough, last year September , Ang invited me to her Spa Party where I was blessed with eyebrow embroidery from the kind people at ALLURE BEAUTY SALON.

Didn't even need to use eyebrow pencil to fill in the blanks .

I was supposed to go back for a touch up session after a month but due to my busy schedule, I couldn't find any time to do so. Plus, the therapists at ALLURE were also jam packed ! 

I would prolly suck at being a beauty blogger 'cause it would be quite hectic to stuff services into my schedule but I wouldn't mind trying to be one as long as I get to be pretty. Okay, 2015, let SSL be blessed to be a beauty blog. Luckily, they didn't forget me and accommodated me even after nearly 6 months . 

Numbing cream on !

As you can tell my eyebrows were pretty unkept . Was the reason why I'm spotted with bangs. Why aren't my friends embarrassed at how "dirty" I am? Kidding, I wasn't just lazy. I didn't have the time . Maybe its time to learn how to do my own brows.

Checking me out

Making markings

Checking me out again

 Making markings again

So after nearly 6 months from the initial embroidery, the only touched up needed to do was to fill in the blanks that had faded off. To be honest, it wasn't a verse difference for/to me cause I naturally have nice brows , according to ALLURE. But, they are perfectionist.

 Before embroidery with the markings done.

During the embroidery process, I kinda look like a warrior princess.

If you feel that your numbing cream doesn't have any effect already, please tell the therapist! I didn't, just so I could feel how does it really feel like. As a person with super low threshold for pain (injections freak me out), it was bearable in comparison to a paper cut, which I can't even deal with.

Told you they professional perfectionist. At this stage, my therapist still wasn't satisfied... She checked and embroidered and checked and embroidered for a couple more times before telling me "Okay, 你可以走了."  (You can go now.)

Yah lah, no make up also can go out and see the world now 'cause my brows are pretty again. I purposely take photo with the advertisement behind. Anyone wants to try the Japanese 3D Eyelash Perming with me ? I obviously need to have lashes to match my brows.

Allure Beauty is located at -

West Mall

City Square Mall

Date A Girl Who Plays Dodgeball

Date a girl who knows how to avoid getting hurt during a nasty game of Dodgeball, a girl who knows how to nurse her own bruises if she ever does get injured, a girl who gives it her all and even when drenched in sweat, will give you the biggest hug after every game.

Date a girl who plays dodgeball because she understands the power of strength. She knows not to go alone, and will never let you go, alone. This girl has strong arm power, and has the ability to catch you when you fall. Date a girl who plays dodgeball because she doesn't mind letting you see her true self - decked in her old team jersey, unwashed knee pads, her pair of 1765 days old Nike she bought at a warehouse sale, no makeup, and messy hair.

Date a girl who plays dodgeball because she knows how to motivate. She will always be your cheerleader and your number 1 supporter. She smiles as she watches your every move because she is proud of you and believes that you are proud of her too. This girl is your lucky star.

If you date a girl who plays dodgeball, make sure you play too because this girl loves a challenge. She will definitely prefer to play against you than to play along side with you. Offer her a challenge - don't be afraid to catch her ball or throw her out of the game. She will never be mad at you for that.

Choose your dodger wisely. Not every girl who plays dodgeball is the right one to fall in love with. However, if you do find that girl who plays dodgeball, trust me, it will taste like 3 in 1 milo mix - simple, sweet, and seductive.

The amount of mindful fucks I give is

0. Zero. None. Kosong.

Usually I see myself having to handle people with low intelligence during the end of the year. In 2014, all was calm. I thought I broke the curse once and for all. Then came Jan 2015. 

But, there is a twist! Oh what fun.

What I've learnt is : Stupid people are nothing compared to those who are book smart but have no street cred to save themselves . Although no matter how advance technology is, there is no cure for stupidity . That we cannot blame. However, no matter how educated a person is (with degree / masters / phd from our local university), if they are not street smart, they also cannot learn how to be street smart from books ie. Study so much also no use . 

Difference between book smart and street smart : book smart reads books, street smart reads between the lines .

With that, here's my response .

Truth be told, I really don't give a rat's ass how you view me nor how you feel about me . I don't live for you neither do I feed on your abundance of love , if any.

I say what I want to say , do what I want to do, sit the way I want to sit, speak the way I want to speak, sleep whenever I want to sleep, pay no attention whenever I want to pay no attention. This is me being mindful of my personal desires.

Of course, I'm just pointing fingers at a handful of people on this social media platform . I am doing Publicity afterall. Where better to point my fingers at and how else better ? Being a keyboard warrior is the same as bitching behind someone's back, except I have a wider audience . 

For I am a thousand times bitchier. Here's what I would love to address.

1) Don't ask for committee's immediate approval if I am supposed be "smart" about it and ask to "take it offline", just because I asked too many questions as I am not book smart . Yes, there wasn't any need for me to understand because it's kinda NONE OF MY BUSINESS , but mind you, I am part of the committee . Therefore I can take an hour of the meeting to fully comprehend if needed to. I can't be and won't be nodding my head along rest due to time constraints. 

Also, I don't even think that's the correct term as we were offline =[

Then again, what do I know ? Y'all are the smartest ones !

2) I'm not sorry at all for not participating in the workshop . I've already said my apologizes to the one conducting and if i like to attend workshops, there are plenty provided by PA . 

Thing is I don't, especially if I am not interested in it.

3) I feel as thou I got trolled. Every time any of us organize events, we also produce a program. I don't see why you and you should be of any difference . However, the only information given to us was the venue and start&end timing . Whatever happened to the inbetween? I took the initiative to ask for the second day's plan so I can plan my own activities . I asked not just once, but three times to confirm. I even drop a text in the chatgroup and there wasn't any response . You and you who knows the exact timing or that there are changes should just reply and not have me blindly wait under the hot sun. I called upon reaching just to find out that y'all will be arriving an hour later . This caused a turbulence to my schedule . I had to make my way home instead . Time wasted. Money wasted . Above all, I could have a better planning of my own activities .

#FML

4) If you don't know, don't talk cock. Don't come and tell someone else saying dodgeball IG is unsustainable if I have to be there at every session. Like watering a water pipe ; it will not grow. 

(Actually, it will grow...grow rusty. LOL )

Will. Not. Grow ?!?!?!

So funny, it deserves two memes.

You must be kidding me. Because since the last we spoke , many things have change . I am truly disappointed in you. First of all, you don't even know how we run things , you don't even bother to find out . Secondly, you have never joined us in any session, in any events . Thirdly , honestly what have you done as a Sports Secretary? Perhaps you should do some mindful reflecting before saying mindless stuff .

I am only 67/90 on the mindful scale !

Someone asked me what is PAYM all about . I said a group of youths with the same ideology coming together to build a better community between communities . Apparently, I was lying through my teeth . I am very proud of what I've contributed thus far and feel that I've done my part to the fullest. There is only so much I can do yet I have definitely done so much more than the previous conveyor. 

You want successful and regular small scale events? Here's 4 since I took over.

Yes, I may refuse to participate in other activities that is of a bigger scale involving other committees, that doesn't mean I am a pushover . I am just not like most you. I don't find joy to be involved in other things . If you noticed me the way you notice other people, you will find that my talent lies within kids and they are who I love working with. 

Not everyone can handle 30 running kids at one time.

I maybe rude (and crude) in some of your eyes but that's because you fail to read between the lines. You fail to read tones and facial expressions. You fail at the streets. Therefore , take offense all you want , because 

This is how I will leave you

With a backbone.

With everything I had ever given to you in toll.

With a head full of silky smooth hair.

With my head held high.

With glittery eyes that shone like the moonlight.

With a radiant face that glows with Glory.

With a pocket filled with sunshine.

With God's grace.

Amen.