I had never undermine the power of the World Wide Web. To be totally honest, I can be gullible at times. Like if we have been friends for sometime and you finally let me into the secret that Obama is a distant relative of yours, I'd prolly believe you. No, really. But when it comes to the Internet, I check and double check. If you not my friend and I not your friend, I surely check your profile and see what your problem is one leh. You mean I am adnormal for doing so?
Wait a min...
Hipster Celine - Checking profile page before its cool.
And if you had seen
this post, you prolly know I got time in hand to reply to anyone and every twitter account that @replies me. But sometimes these troll/spam accounts never reply me back one
Then, came
@smrtsg. Although like my plight is true, I knew it was a troll. I was damn excited that got people as
bo liao as me you know. The only cheapskate thing I adore and enjoy is cheap thrill(s).
So of course things went viral. It has -of the time I draft this post- 1.8k-ish likes and 289 shares. Look mum, I am an overnight Internet "sensation". And when all these are happening, I was getting wasted badass.jpeg
Basically the point of this entry is to show you the tweeter conversation I had w @smrtsg and like all Singapore media, there is filtration. Which sucks given the fact that its a parody account (why scared? you also not working for the government -.-") and youngsters always indirectly talking about transparency.
Disclaimer: Screenshots taken at different timings.
I was such a fun sport, in my opinion however
kena labelled "cheapskate". Thank you for those who commented nicely and dislike(d) the parody account. Its heartwarming. In their defence, Singapore does need creative people like that for fun and laughter. And really, I am not stumped by it. I just pray that it doesn't go on Stomp despite it being shared around. I can go on any media except Stomp, I swear. It's the most degrading form of media ever in the entire history of mankind.
Alright, you caught me red-handed. If you are/were a vivid stalker, you had prolly already saw me twice on Stomp, once on RazorTV and once on The Newspaper although none of it, i assume, is as hardcore as this.
Replies to some really nice people:
It made my day too!
- you cant say its cruel unless I was really the dumb blonde.
- Lol, thank you for what. This was one of God's plan for me. Amen.
- Iyo, very typical Singaporean leh you. I got say I want to sue meh?
and - Y'all tag me for what, lol. I already commented on it before y'all leh.
- Exactly right! Already there was an understanding between the driver and I that he -at that point of time- agreed to send me to my destination.
Where is your funny bone, dude?
You know 1, 2, a few, some Taxi Drivers than you assuming you know all of them and how "irrational" I can get?
Take the American Chill Pill yo~
Contrary to popular belief, I am actually not poor. I am rich in knowledge and fats. You may want to take your self pity somewhere else.
- Thanks for being so nice! But I am not really offended by it nor affected.
, , , , , - Sometimes, I pray. I pray for God to hurry show you the way of Life. We should not be narrow-minded and judge based on what little we know of them.
****
- While I truly and sincerely appreciate your 4 humble words, I reckon you should spare a thought for your 2 kids. I cant imagine what other labels you are able to teach your offsprings. Is this really what you want to see in Singapore citizens in the near future? Unless you know me personally, I dont see how you can -based on a photo of a social media platform- determine that I am no longer humane because of Greed?
****
- While I am sure you are true to your beliefs -else your religious views wont be the only visible information on your Facebook page-, I think its better that you keep it hidden somewhere safe. God did not promote your doings neither did he want to die for your sins in vain. You think not painful one ah?
I wanted badly to say something about how ridiculous your name sound but let me not be rude. I dont wish to stoop to your level of
stupidity, I mean "intelligence". My name is just as ridiculous. Besides, if your relatives named you that and I hope they have a pretty good reason too, I dont want to disrespect them although you have done a very good job already.
Either way, unlike you, I dont judge. If I do, I will be saying shit like "oh, behind your profile picture, there must be a nose resembling an animal just as filthy as y__ or a lip that resembles one of the large number of species in the Anatidae family of birds or BOTH.
Look ma, no hair!
Too bad you not angmoh or you prolly could pull it off. But then again, with your ugly personality- wait did I just judge you based on nothing that I know about you? Oh yea, I sure did. How does that make you feel now? -, I guess you got to
lan lan suck thumb wait for death.
Perhaps you were hiding your failed lip fillers behind your phone. You secretly look like this before your surgery, rightt?
By the way, just an heads up, your cover photo is prolly the closest you ever get to a girl. Yup, you computer/smartphone screen must be reallllllly clean.
Pinkie must be your favourite finger.
****
- What other joy do you get other than seeing anyone else who is not related to you "suffer"? I cannot take you seriously while looking through your profile. It was just.. just making my eyes bleed. I merely wanted to see who is judging me and what reason(s) does the person have to do so. And I get it. I get why. You prolly have people judging you just the same. You need and want your moment to shine when you can go blend in and judge others. I am sorry you have to wait so long for me to turn up before you can feel better about yourself.
Wait, if you really do not give a "damn shit", why is it plastered on your Facebook? First of all, in order to know if one has a job or not, you have to get to know the person first right? I am sure your introduction didn't go "Hi, I am Lydia
. I can't be your friend until I know you have a job. So do you have one?", right? jackiechan.jpeg. Oh wait, w(h)at the FUCK, you dont give a damn shit.
Here's what I think of you, you're a 'Omg, I am such an attention seeking 14 year old prick who obviously too cool for school hence I can't type properly and tots, whatever' sad little person. My heart wept for you.
p/s: Added in Puss in Boots so there is a cute factor about the photo.
****
- I dont know who is more pathetic. Me or you. Because for starters, I do not poke my nose into other people's business and call them idiots behind their backs especially if my grammar and vocab do not match up to a 5 year old.
I mean, even a concern Facebook friend of yours who took the time to read your status did not even understand you. Your reply is what an imbecile would prolly say too. "Understandable words are too mainstream"? Gurrll, do you even know what you are talking about! Its people like yourself who refuse to be mainstream and speak/type proper English that caused Foreigners to undermine Singaporeans. Kudos to you. I hope being a hipster makes you feel better about yourself as you seem to have the lack of intelligence. May your wonderous contribution to the nation might one day get some recognition!
For your information, taxi vouchers do exist and only in $50 value. I have to applaud the parody account owners on their realistic-ness. Its uncanny!
Back to who is pathetic and who's not. Just so you know, it means that one is either a miserable soul or pitiful. I am none of the above, are you? Like what I mentioned before to
above - Unless you know me personally, I dont see how you can -based on a photo of a social media platform- determine "
this gal is so pathetic is all ways"? Oh and out of curiosity, do you really look like this : -.-'"
****
I have no problems with having my name all over Singapore Facebook Network. Admittingly, I asked for it. I replied the parody account willingly and deserves what comes after. I didn't expect it an overnight Internet sensation. With that, I leave you with a personal quote of mine:
Peace comes not from the absence of conflicts in life but from the ability to cope with it. I am sure that you will not be offended by this post. Afterall, if you dont want people to talk about you, you should not talk about them as well.
