Its my party and I'll cry if I want to. I think I have a fear instilled in me on my birthday. I dont really know how to explain it. But, I've been crying alot lately.. sometimes randomly. Koh reckons its the PMS. In my point of view, I feel its because I havent had the best times on my birthday... ever since I met Koh.
Sad to say, its okay to treat me like shit but its not okay to make me feel like shit. If you treat me like shit, I can just walk away. But if you make me feel like shit, my whole day will be ruin. I am either a jinx to 12th of June or 12th of June just dont go with me. 'Cause whenever this day comes, I am shit.
Could it be because I expect too much? But, how could it be? I dont expect myself to be chauffeur around in a Lamborghini, going to Ion to shop Gucci, Prada. I dont expect myself to be having dinner with friends. I just expect something to happen though. Not me lying down on my bed typing this entry. I thought Koh will wake me up and tell me to go get changed 'cause he's bringing me somewhere.
I like surprises. I want surprises. I want to be surprised by Koh every single year on 12th of June.
Is it too much? Or is it because after a certain number of years with someone, you are just too comfortable to do anything? Wait, scratch that. Koh tried that last year but failed. I dont think anyone knows that I was the one who told Koh to plan it that way so I can pretend its a surprise. I am such amazing actress, its unbelievable.
I am pathetic. I cant even absorb all the good Koh has done to forget about ruining my birthday today. I cant even be appreciative to Diablo 3 as it took 10 years to programme. I cant believe instead of smelling breakfast, I woke up to Koh playing Diablo 3. I cant believe that instead of looking at deal sites to see what he can last minute conjure up, he was playing Diablo 3.
Diablo 3 stole my bf. Diablo 3 more important than my birthday. I am such a loser. I lost to a fucking game.
Oh God, why.
1 comment:
Chin up lady! I know how it feels t wake up on your birthday date n feel absofuckinglutely shitty of it. But it'll pass. And you can always have a make-up belated b'day celebration w your love ones :) don't let this affect you for long aight? you still have next year, and more to come! look on th bright side, that very date just don't go w you that's all. it has nothing t do with you okay!
hope you feel better already. take care! have a great day ahead :)
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